HIM and HER. //carlos sainz

9.silent thoughts?

carlos dropped you at your place and you were so tired you fell asleep as soon as you got home, the next morning lando called you and later you went to his place, he was packing because you were going to the netherlands for race and he asked "what happened yesterday? did you talked?"
"it was okay, he explained everything and now we're friends. i also told him about us"
"oh yea, you did? how he reacted?"lando smiled
you couldn't tell lando about the fact that carlos wasn't happy about it
"oh yeah, he was very happy for us" you smiled
"that's good i was scared he's gonna be upset" said lando

you sat on the couch watching some tv show while lando was in the shower getting ready when your phone buzzed

CARLOS
one thing. why lando? it's irritating me.

Y/N
because i like him. i think i fell in love with him.
seen

you stopped the tv, laid on your back and were in silence only hearing the water from shower dropping down and your own thoughts. regret, overthinking, madness, sadness. you didn't know why did you felt like this. why? why? why? why? it's you and your thoughts.
lando walked out of shower seeing you laying on your back in silence, staring at the ceiling.
"are you okay?" lando asked
"yeah, i was just thinking"

when you were in netherlands in your hotel room
the voice in your head was still asking why and repeating the word why and you were asking yourself why you feel this way. you went to sleep because you had enough

the next morning was free practice, so you went with lando to the paddock. no one suspected that you are couple because everyone knew you two as best friends. you went to the mercedes box to your dad and lando went to the mclaren box.
you told your dad how the vacation went and all about it, you even told him about lando. you felt like your and your dad's relationship was getting better.
you were talking with your dad and you heard familiar voice saying "toto the engineers are calling you" it was mick, when you arrived three months ago he wasn't at the paddock. now you met him again, your childhood best friend. your dads are very close, so you and mick grew up together.
"y/n? oh my god! hi!" he said
"MICK! HI HI HI!" you were so excited to see him after six years. you hugged each other tight.
you spend the whole day with mick and said to him everything that happened these past months
you were walking around the paddock
"so you were dating carlos and now are you dating lando?" asked mick
"me and carlos weren't a thing, it was just friends with benefits or something like that. i really liked him but he said some stuff he shouldn't" you were quiet for a while then you said "but yeah, now i'm dating lando" you smiled
carlos heard your conversation with mick and he told charles. later when you were still with mick in mercedes box, charles came to you "y/n, carlos heard your conversation"
"charles what? what convo?"
"the one with mick when you were walking around the paddock and you said that you and carlos weren't thing"
"because we weren't, he even said that we weren't" you said looking confused at charles
"he wants to talk to you" charles grabbed your hand and started to pulling you away.
"what? no."
"no please come on y/n" said charles in the french accent
you looked at mick hoping he would save you
"good luck y/n" mick said and smiled, you just rolled your eyes and let charles pull you away.

you were standing in front of carlos's changing room. you knocked, he already knew it's gonna be you "come in"
you walked in saying "you miss me huh? we talked two days ago"
"it's not about that" he stayed silent and then said "we were never thing?"
"we were never thing." you responded with cold voice
"what do you mean"
"you even said that we were never together, what did you expect me to say?"
he looked at you, his beautiful big brown eyes were looking at you with sadness and madness.
"so now you're gonna stay silent?" you said
"did you ever thought about us like couple?"
"ofc i did but i don't know why are you wanna talk about it now. if we were meant to be, we would have been by now" something made your eyes tear up
his eyes were tired, he looked exhausted. it was hard for you to see him like this.
he was looking at you in silence. your eyes were tearing up so you got up and walked away from his changing room, charles saw you but you gave him look to leave you alone, you walked out of the ferrari box and lando saw you, he saw your eyes tearing up.
"are you okay?" asked lando
"i'm okay, just leave me now" you said
lando looked confused at you but knew it's better to leave you.
you went inside the mercedes box and went straight to micks arms, he knew it's bad but he didn't ask.
you mumbled and chuckled " 'ferrari boys are better' defo not" mick just looked at you and giggled