I Feel Alone

Epilogue: 2011

It was the beginning of spring and the beginning of kindergarten for five year old Rosa Theodore. "You're going to have so much fun, sweetie! Making new friends, running around..." Rosa's mum, Alyssa, was busying herself by packing her daughter's lunchbox while Rosa sat on the couch, swinging her small legs back and forth. Repeatedly. Back and forth. Back and forth. In her right hand, she clutched a fluffy cream coloured teddy bear with a crimson bow tied around the neck. In her left hand was a white lace sock that she had not put on yet. "Rosa, put on your sock. We're going to leave soon!" Alyssa walked over carrying Rosa's flowery backpack. Rosa busied herself by pulling on her one sock and shoe on while her mum filled up her water bottle. "It'll be amazing!" Alyssa scooped up Rosa in her arms and hugged her. Rosa buried her head in her mum's shoulders comfortably. "Yesss!" She cried. Alyssa fixed one of Rosa's dark blonde pigtails, securing the pink hair tie. Rosa was a gorgeous child with soft skin and blue grey eyes. She had smooth, short, dark blonde hair that had a deep brown patch on the back of her head. "I'm so excited, Mummy!" Rosa squealed with enthusiasm. "It'll be amazing!" Alyssa swung her daughter around before setting her on the couch again. "I don't think you should bring Teddy, sweetheart." Alyssa gestured to Rosa's toy dangling from her hand. "Why, Mummy?" Rosa clutched her teddy to her chest protectively. "Teddy always goes with me." She replied stubbornly. "He might get lost or stolen..." Alyssa tried to explain. Rosa's bottom lip trembled and Alyssa quickly scooped the child up into her arms and hugged her. Distraction was something Alyssa was quite good at. After all she lived with a five year old, a three year old and a one year old and she distracted them from crying quite often. But not all the time though. Alyssa didn't want her oldest daughter to lose her precious toy.

*******

Rosa seemed so excited to attend kindergarten, interact with children her age and make new friends. Alyssa noticed her behaviour and actions herself. So when she pulled up in front of the building and opened the car door, Alyssa was surprised to see her daughter immediately shrink back and refuse to get out of her seat. "Sweetie, what's wrong?" Alyssa asked, unclipping the Mila and Lulu's seatbelts. "I'm not going." Rosa replied, her mouth forming in a straight line. "Come on darling, it will be so much fun!" Alyssa clipped Rosa's seatbelt and suddenly Rosa began to wail. "No! No, no no! I don't wanna go!" She cried, her eyes shiny with tears. "Rosa, sweetheart, you'll be okay. It's only for a few hours." Alyssa tried again. Mila and Lulu watched on worriedly. "I wanna stay home with you, Mila and Lulu!" Rosa sobbed, as Alyssa put the two toddlers in the pram and took the three girls inside the centre. Alyssa wondered what the reason was for Rosa's change in behaviour. She had been so eager and excited. Now she was crying hysterically, tears pouring down her pink cheeks, begging not to go.

*******

Around two o'clock in the afternoon, Alyssa drove down the the kindergarten to collect her daughter. She was expecting a teary eyed Rosa, sobbing, but instead she was very surprised to find her daughter all bright and happy, holding hands with two girls. "Mummy, Mummy!" Rosa cried happily. "These are my new friends! Bria, Mika and Helena." Helena was a year younger than Rosa, with light blonde hair and freckles. "It's lovely to meet you all!" Alyssa smiled at the girls. "Come on now Rosa, say goodbye to your new friends!" She encouraged. "Aww... but we wanna play more!" Bria exclaimed, jumping up and down. "You'll see your friends tomorrow Rosa and you all can play then!" Alyssa took hold of her daughters hand, and they walked outside to their car while Rosa waved frantically to the girls.