Don't Apologize

Sunflower

Erin's perspective:

It's been over 2 months since I saw her. I can't bare to carry this pain and guilt of letting her go away like that. Leaving us on such a bad note. I can't help but wonder how she must've felt; how she's feeling right now; if she still thinks about me. I lie awake at night fantasizing her extensively, her eyes as brown as the center of the brightest sunflower. That's what she is. A sunflower. Two months isn't much of a long time, and I didn't even know Joella for that long before, but it feels like we'd been childhood best friends pulled apart to never be seen together again.

I miss her too much.

I go downstairs to see my parents drinking their coffee, watching 'glee'. Sometimes I wonder if that show is what caused their behavior and mindsets to stay as narrow as possible. "I'm going back to new york" I declared without making eye contact or doing anything dramatic. I just said it, picked up a mug and poured myself some tea. "Why?" my dad asked looking as if I was joking. "To be with joella, and to get my life back to its normal routine. I love you both but I can't stay here longer" I said, to get the response of my brother: "Erin don't do this, mom and dad are everything you have. They need you and you need them". "Why don't you stay with them then? We both know they very much value you more than me, with your awards and wife and grandchildren. I've been so blind to see what I lost and I need to go back to her" I said back, cringing at myself in my mind at the thought of talking like this in front of my parents, I never really did that. "Erin, this can't be about some girl! Leron was just as great to you and he gave you everything you needed. He kept you satisfied. You're being selfish and greedy." my mom shot back. I was in disbelief hearing what she just said about keeping me satisfied. "How would you know who was great to me and who wasn't?". "Erin, sweetheart please don't leave us like this. This is a mistake. You haven't thought about the girl for two months so what's happening now." My dad said. "THE GIRL has a name and it's joella. And how do you know I haven't thought of her" I said almost crying. I'm not sure why I felt the urge to cry but I felt it.

I packed my bags and got on the soonest flight. I regret leaving my parents, but I just can't win.
I need to see her.