with or without u | lil peep

drink the koolaid

another week had passed and i was struggling more and more to ignore the devil on my shoulder to give into my temptations.

"baby can i ask you something?" jack asked me. i felt my heart plummet into my stomach as soon as he asked that "uh, yeah" i said. "is there something wrong with gus? i feel like anytime he comes around you always have to go or you go completely mute" jack pointed out. "cos you know if you don't like him i don't have to hang out with him babe it's not a problem, you're my number one" he added.

"no everything's fine. maybe just a coincidence i don't know. no problems though" i quickly came to my own defence. "oh okay, just making sure love" jack said.

gus
are u with him rn

i quickly turned so jack couldn't see my phone screen. gus was an idiot texting me like this, he was gonna get himself caught.

nova
yes
screw off

gus
when is he leaving

nova
idk
like an hour probably

gus
come over after

nova
we can't

gus
ik u want to
we can just talk
hang out

nova
idk about this

gus
u won't regret it

nova
fine
just once

gus
good answer
gus shared his location

nova
i'll come over once jack leaves

"jacky i'm pretty tired i think i'm gonna go to bed" i lied. "okay hun, i'll see you tomorrow morning then?" he asked. "yeah" i said. jack started putting his things in his bag.

"goodnight" jack gave me a kiss. "goodnight, love you" i told him. "love you too" he said.

jack left and i waited anxiously on the back edge of my bed for him to get out of the area. gus lived quite close to me actually. only a couple minutes away if i walked.

nova
he's gone

gus
see u soon princess

nova
you're not gonna tell jack about this right

gus
of course not

i carefully left my house, being certain to not make too much noise and cause any suspicion from my mom.

i walked the short distance to gus' house. the dark sky was dimly lit by the occasional street light.

i knew it was wrong but it was almost an out of body experience, i felt like i'd drank the kool aid (a/n is this an out of date reference now??) and was just blindly following gus' lead.

i reached my destination. it was a smaller house. i remember him mentioning he just lived with his mom and older brother.

nova
i'm here

gus
coming

gus opened the door. he looked really hot if we're being honest. he was shirtless with plaid pj pants on but something about that look did something to me. "i like your tattoos" i told him. "i want more" he said, "come in".

i followed him down the hall to his room. the walls were covered in posters, it smelt vaguely of weed and cigarettes. i sat on the edge of his bed, "what do you want from me?" i asked him.

"i want you just to be real with yourself" he said, "what?" i asked. "we all know you're lying to yourself. you came here didn't you?" he asked.

"i don't know what to do" i told him, "i hardly even know you" i added. "we can change that" he said.

"but jack" i said. "don't think about him. think about me. look at me" he said, "you're only here because you want to be here right?" he asked. "yes" i told him hesitantly.

"i'm not stupid. i can feel you feeling me, i know that every cell in your body wants this, you're just pretending to be this morally upstanding girlfriend aren't you?" he asked. i was silent. "answer me baby. tell me the truth. tell yourself the truth" he told me. he grasped my chin, tilting my head to look at him.

"you're right" i admitted.

—-
AN

next chapter will be isolated smut cos ik it's not everyone's thing so u can just skip it without rly missing the plot if ur not into that

thoughts so far?