What Universe is This Again?

XXII

[CLAUDE'S POV]

Athanasia followed Ayhan out the door. Before leaving, he let out a long sigh and stared at the cup he was holding.

It will be three days before their birthday, and the day after will be Athanasia's Debutante.

He believed that giving them anything would suffice. They have never asked for anything until now.

A song and dance with him.

A day spent with him.

He clenched his teeth as he remembered the painful memories he had tried to forget in the past. He can not help but feel bewildered. He is unable to make a decision.

It hurts to look at them.

It hurt him even more to see their hesitation and inhibition in asking him what they truly wanted.

"Your Majesty," he said to Felix, who had not followed them. Felix must have come here to nag because Choi Han was with them. He remained silent and lowered his gaze.

"It is time to let her go, Your Majesty, and look at their Highnesses as people."

Felix said it in such a depressing tone.

He can not help but stare at him. Felix tells him he can forget about that woman, but he can't.

"I am not telling you to forget how much you love her," Felix said again, this time in words Claude could understand, "I am telling you to look at the Princess and the Prince as individuals in their own right, not as the memory of Lady Diana."

Claude remained silent.

"I'm..."

"Your Majesty," Felix said again, "Lady Diana would love it if you were happy, full of love for your children, whom she adores."

Claude pondered, believing that simply forgetting her would be unjust.

"She gave birth to their Highnesses not so you could mourn for her, but so you could face the future with them."

Claude stood up and left his work immediately to speak with his children.

He had been thinking that everything would be unfair to her, to him, and to the children. He believed he was doing the right thing, but—

They do not expect anything in return.

They are not asking for his heart or anything.

They are simply requesting his presence—his company.

"She wanted you to be happy and not be lonely anymore."

They are asking for a memory so that when they think he has abandoned them, they can remember how much he once loved them.

He treated them in such a way that they would never trust him again.

That they are only passing encounters to relieve his boredom.

He could not help but rush, his steps wide, to keep up with them.

I am sorry, Diana. I am truly sorry. But I really want to be happy with them.

He had just realized how much of a disappointment he was to them.

He longs for a different future, one in which he can lavish all of his love on them.

"Yhan. Athy," he says.

Yhan and Athy both looked at him. They smiled, but it never made it to their eyes. He felt suffocated, but he was afraid that if he did not reach out, these children would never reach out to him again.