It was never enough (18+)

Chapter 9 - What is this phase?

Jenna

I don't know what this is ? This phase. I mean I do like Zayn, it's just that right now I can't trust him. Not just him, actually I can't trust anyone right now.

So, here is the story of Me and Sam. We were dating for almost two years. One day when I came home a little early from work, I found him sleeping with my cousin, Sara.

Sara was like one of my best buddies. Like we used to share everything. We used to do sleepovers, midnight snacks, movie night, late night driving, nightclubs and we both even went on a little trip. Just two of us. So many memories. In fact uncountable memories.

I used to trust her so fucking much. And she just broke it without any effort. And Sam, I don't even wanna talk about him. We were so serious about us. I mean he used to pretend, obviously. We used to do our wedding plans. Yes! Really. It's crazy right? I know.

And now I don't even want to say that asshole's name. I just hate him. He broked me into pieces. He destroyed me.

I didn't even step foot outside my house for one week straight after my breakup. No work, not talking to my friends, Nothing. I was feeling like everything just faded away. I cried so much. Breakdowns and panic attacks were like an everyday thing for me.

It's just that I don't wanna go through that again. It's my problem that I trust people so blindly and quickly.

And Zayn, i know that he is nothing like Sam but it's just i don't know. I know Zayn will never break my trust. He cares about me and he loves me. I can feel it. He is protective of me and wants to keep me happy. I haven't spent much time with him but the time which I have spent with home was priceless. I was happy.

I am happy when I am with Zayn. And also horny. I want to date him but I don't know what is stopping me from doing it.

Actually I don't know anything about him. His job, his full name, about his parents, what he likes, what he doesn't like. Nothing. I don't know anything about him.

But when I am with him I feel like  connected. I feel like I have known him for decades. I feel calm and collected. The whole world just stops when I am with him. I feel like my own, where I don't have to pretend about who I actually am.

Wait, i don't even know his full name.

Uggh! Forget it.

Let's talk about my work. I have applied to some company as an assistant manager post. I think I deserve it. I am really working hard for this company but my boss never appreciates me. In fact he always criticizes me. He is never happy or satisfied with my work even if it was the best presentation which I had presented. He is such a dickhead.

I am working hard to get out of this company. And I know I will not regret it. I have also applied in "Gray Publishing House". My life will literally change if I can get there.

And now about Zayn. I still have four days to think about this and after that my time will be up. I will make a decision. I just need some time and common sense.