It was never enough (18+)

Chapter 8 - Fuck this shit

Jenna

The table was filled with laughter and jokes and gossip. Me, Julia, Clara and jess decided to have lunch at Cafe 24*7 today. It's like a girls lunch date type. Cafe 24*7 is just a few blocks away from my office. And I was really stressed out with my work and all the other stuffs.

By other stuffs I mean Zayn. And I need this break. Don't get me wrong. Zayn is a nice guy but I really need a break from this dating and boyfriends stuffs. I am just tired of lies, hurts, crying, breakdowns and that shit called ' I love you '.

I hate this sentence. When someone says this sentence I feel like they are joking or they need something from me. I literally feel like I am being used.

Well, i haven't told my friends yet about Zayn. I was thinking of telling them today. But that's probably a bad idea.

Yes, it is a bad idea. Topic is close.

And more overly I don't want to bother them about me. They did a lot when that shit happened with Sam. They were always there for me. I feel so blessed that they are my friends.

"So, how are things going with Rick?" Jess asked Julia who rolled her eyes when he heard the word "Rick".

"Nothing. We are just friends." As expected. Julia can never confess her love. God she is so............. I don't know type.

"Sure seems that way." I looked towards her ringing phone. It was Rick. She didn't answer the phone.

"I mean seriously, will you ever gonna think seriously 'bout Rick. You two look great together." Clara said taking a sip of her drink.

"Okay, change the topic. I don't wanna talk about this." Julia always tries to change the topic when it comes to Rick.

Every. Fucking. Time.

"What's with you Jenna? Anything with that bar guy?" Clara asked. They don't even know his name. Why me?

"Nothing." I answered, my mouthfull of paasta. I don't want to tell them right now.

"Yeah?" Fuck. Julia can really read my mind. She lifted her one eyebrow. God. Fuck me.

"Yupp. I mean we never talked after that night."

"Hmm." Thank God they didn't push into that topic anymore.

We talked about our works and cursed our own bosses. Are all the bosses same? Shitty?

I mean mine is.

Our lunch break was over. And we were going back to our offices. Whenever I meet them they heal a broken part of me. Everytime. Without even trying.

Back to office. Ugh.

So many extra works. They are not even my works. I mean I love my job I enjoy it. But I definitely don't enjoy working with my boss. I work for a publishing company. I am a worker there. I am working for this company for about five fucking years and still my promotion is stuck somewhere. And my boss every time says 'you will get there. Try harder next time.'
I am working hard. For my resignation.

I can't anymore. I get paid well but I am not satisfied with my post. I have already applied for other companies as the assistant manager post. I think I deserve this. No one knows about this except my friends.

I have also applied for Gray Publishing House which is the most famous publishing company in LA. I don't know i will get it or not. But there is nothing wrong in trying.

I picked some groceries from the nearby supermarket. I parked my car on my driveway. I took out my house key from my bag when I felt something touched my feet. I looked down to figure out what it was.

It was a bouquet of white roses. My favourite flower. No one knows about it. Not even my friends. Not a single person.

I picked the bouquet and closed the door behind me. I kept the flowers on my table. And i found a note with that. It says

' It's only been nine hours and I am already missing you so much.
This is for you, Gorgeous. I hope you like it.'

Gorgeous.
It has to be Zayn. He is the one who calls me Gorgeous. And my phone rang. Unknown number.

I answered the phone.

"You liked the gift?" Zayn on the other side. As expected.

"You didn't have to do this, Zayn. But I liked it. Thank you. It's beautiful. White roses are my favourite."

"I know." How does he knows that?

"How the fuck you know that Zayn?" It was impossible to know.

"You know my voice. You recognised it quite well. " Pleasure covered his voice. Well obviously i know his voice.

"That's not the answer of my question." I want the answer. "I want the truth."

"Okay. I see you everyday. You bought atleast white rose everyday from Britney's shop. Only white rose. "

Wait, did he followed me?

"And before you ask I didn't followed you. I am just a very observant person. When I visited your house I saw white roses on your flower vases. So it was easy."

Right. Don't overthink J. Just don't.

"Goodnight Zayn."

"Goodnight, Gorgeous. Sleep well."
I cut the call.

And I am slowly falling for Zayn. I think. I guess.

No, stop. I can't.

Ohh God. Fuck this shit, man!