Unavailable Endings

YOU

Today September 1st, 2023, is your birthday. I sit in my bed thinking about you today. what are you doing, who you are with, or if you miss me. In all the years we have known each other I have never missed your birthday.  I wonder if you remember what we said we would be doing on your 21st birthday. probably not, but hey I still remember. I remember everything we talked about. today is really hard for me. 21st was a big deal for us. I know you don't care about me anymore and will definitely not see this, but I hope you have a really amazing birthday and I hope she loves you today more than ever, I hope you get everything you could ever want today. I know it doesn't mean anything from me and it never will to say but I love you so much and I hope she makes you happy.  I hope she treats you the best anyone has ever.  I want you to be happy... to see you smile is all I ever wanted. the way you smile is gift enough for me. I find myself trying to hate you, I can't, and you probably think I should. but the truth is I hate me for not seeing what I did to you. I let the love of my life hurt because I was dumb enough to think I wasn't hurting you. I want you by my side always. I want my friend back my partner in crime back. I find myself thinking and longing for our life on days like this, on days that shouldn't mean much to me but are my favorite days. I never told you but September 1st 2002 is my favorite day of all time because it is the day my favorite person in all of existence was born, even though I wasn't alive yet or even thought of. I know you are better now. I am glad for that. I guess in all this writing what I am really trying to say is Happy Birthday my love.