Unavailable Endings

You

Yesterday was my birthday and I thought about writing to you so many times. I still miss you. I want to tell you so many things but you said to leave you alone a while ago and I will respect that. to think how different life would be right now if you and I had stayed. I know it was best to end and even though life didn't get better it  definitely changed. I am 20 now. you watched me turn 18. You helped me be who I am. I know myself better because of you and for that I want to say thank you. Life is turning around I think. I still think about my stuff and how I have your stuff. I want to send it back but money is tight right now and I don't know if you still live where you did before. it's weird to think that I don't know anything happening in your life. it hurts to think about what would happen if I checked in. when life got harder I wanted to reach out and talk to you but I don't want to upset you. I think about talking to you all the time but I don't know how to start the conversation and I don't know what to say, oh hey remember me the person who you used to fight with all the time? no because that is stupid. It felt weird to not say anything to you yesterday. to go another year without someone who meant to such to me and it's weird now to think I still think of you. But I do. I hope you are doing well and I hope the world is treating you right. maybe one day we will break the silence.

Sincerely me just another year older...