Doctor Omens: DoctorDonnaCrowley

Oi, Spaceman!

PLAYLIST:

That's Not My Name by the Ting Tings

White Rabbit by P!nk

Everybody Talks by Neon Trees

"OI! SPACEMAN!"

Neither of the two supernatural entities—though if you asked the one with blond hair, he was ethereal and the other occult—reacted to the shout. Such things—and stranger things besides—were common in London Soho.After stopping the Antichrist and getting into a shouting match with the literal fucking devil, neither entity was inclined to react to anything.

"SPACEMAN! I'M TALKING TO YOU!"

"I think she means you, Angel."

Aziraphale glanced to his left, at the tall person beside him who had spoken. Dark glasses hid the person's eyes, which Aziraphale knew to be golden, snake-like and, to him at least, quite lovely. "Me? Surely she means you. I look far more normal than you do, my dear."

Crowley likewise surveyed his companion, whose hair, clothes, and shoes were blindingly white: far more conspicuous than Crowley's own leather rock n roll getup. "I rather doubt it," he said dryly.

They were both proven wrong when a set of hands grabbed their shoulders and spun them around with startling force. They found themselves face-to-face with a woman who had violently ginger hair and a scowl.

"I am talking to you, Dumbo," she said to Crowley, putting her hands on her hips. "I can't believe you didn't let me know you were in town!"

Crowley and Aziraphale looked at each other, and then looked at the woman. Aziraphale nodded, which meant, well, go ahead. Crowley focused his tired mind and snapped his fingers.

"Go away," he said in a silky voice.

She stood on tiptoe and got up in his face. "No."

"Wha—no?"Crowley sputtered. "I telepathy'd you. You're supposed to do what I say."

"Yeah, right, I never do what you say."

Crowley was thoroughly confused: he'd never met a human immune to his powers, and certainly not one who seemed to know him. "Who are you?"

"Donna," she said. "Donna Noble."

"Look, Donna Noble," Crowley said, his voice dripping with sarcasm, "we've just averted the apocalypse, so we're really not in the mood stand here yammering with a stranger."

Aziraphale—infinitely more polite than his demonic companion—finally got his wits about him, and intervened. "Madam, I believe this is a simple case of mistaken identity. Crowley--"

Donna bowled over him. "Crowley? You've got a new name, too? Come on, Doctor, quit taking the piss!"

"I'm not a doctor," Crowley protested.

"Not a doctor, the Doctor!"

Aziraphale tried again. "Perhaps we should have this conversation somewhere more private. Can I tempt you to a spot of tea in my bookshop?"

"Sure,"Donna said without hesitation. "Lead on, Blondie."

She fell into step with them, which confused Crowley even further. "Most women wouldn't take off with a pair of strange men," he remarked.