𝐏𝐎𝐈𝐒𝐎𝐍𝐎𝐔𝐒 | mattheo riddle

eleven 𝐌𝐘 𝐓𝐑𝐔𝐓𝐇

WARNING: mentions sexual abuse

・・・❦・・・

VANESSA had been feeling absolutely crushed for days now. it wasn’t just the whole mattheo thing but a storm of everything all at once: her family, her so-called friends, blaise, and, of course, the mess with mattheo. she felt like she was drowning, like she was dying and everyone else was watching her.

her sleep was non-existent, her meals tasteless, and she moved through her classes like a ghost. even her professors had started to notice. just yesterday, professor flitwick had asked her if everything was okay after she zoned out completely during charms. she'd brushed it off with a forced smile and a vague excuse about not sleeping well and being tired.

right now, vanessa sat at her desk, staring blankly at her astronomy homework. astronomy had always been her favorite subject because the universe, the planets, the stars, and everything else up there truly fascinated her. but today, even the stars couldn't pull her out of this pit and the mess in her mind. she re-read the same sentence over and over, not taking in a single word.

the door creaked open, and vanessa turned around, her heart jumping slightly. it was just izzy. her friend's cheerful expression fell the moment she saw vanessa.

"what’s wrong with you, girl?" izzy asked, plopping down on the bed next to vanessa's desk. "you’ve been so down lately."

vanessa sighed, feeling the weight of it all crushing her chest. she needed to tell someone, even if it was izzy, who wasn’t always the most reliable. it all just became too much to handle it all alone without anyone knowing what she struggled with right now.

"i know that i told you i only kissed him, but i also slept with riddle," she said, her voice barely more than a whisper. she felt so ashamed saying it out loud. she, vanessa burkeley, the girl who never showed her true emotions, was here, almost breaking down because of a boy she didn't even date.

izzy's eyes widened. "no way! that’s amazing! he's so hot!"

vanessa shook her head, feeling a fresh wave of pain. "no, it’s not. he’s acting like nothing happened, like he just used me for my body.”

izzy’s excitement dimmed slightly. "oh god, i always knew he was a cold person like that. but why did you even do it? didn't you know that too?"

"yes, i knew, but ... i don’t know," vanessa admitted, her voice cracking. "i needed comfort, i guess. and he was there and it felt good at the moment, but now i remember why he’s such an asshole and realise the mistake i have made."

"i’m so sorry, v," izzy said, but her words lacked true sympathy while she pressed her lips together. then she brightened up again, a big smile on her lips. "but guess what? i had sex with enzo last night! and we're dating now. he asked me to be his girlfriend this morning!"

vanessa’s heart plummeted. "lorenzo berkshire?" she asked, barely able to keep the shock and anger out of her voice. "why would you do that? he has a terrible reputation when it comes to girls."

izzy’s smile faltered, replaced by a defensive glare. "what’s your problem? are you jealous? just because you have problems with boys, it doesn't mean that i have to have them too. and i always had a crush on him, you know that."

"no, izzy, it’s not that. lorenzo … he’s not a good person. he did something to me. something terrible."

izzy's eyes narrowed. "what do you mean? what did he do to you?"

vanessa took a deep breath, the memory making her stomach churn. "in fourth year, he flirted with me a lot. i thought he was cute. one night, at a party, i was really drunk, it was my first time drinking. lorenzo grabbed me and pulled me into his room. he wanted to sleep with me, i was everything but sober, but he didn’t care. he undressed me and forced me to do it.”