CHAPTER 93

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"Oh Jesus Christ!" Jade exclaimed, clenching her thighs. All the boys turned to look at her with surprised faces. "I like this contract! It's hot!"

"The girl's already hot," Everett said, turning to see Zeth. "Can we sign off and start reproduction rite?"

"Everett!" Frank exclaimed. "Control yourself! There's a lady here!"

"It doesn't bother me," she said, looking at Alex while biting her lip. "I actually want to skip the paperwork to do what Everett said."

"Reproduce?" Everett asked.

"Make love," she said, blinking a lot like Daisy Duck.

"Guys, I think you better read the sex part," Draco said, with his red eyes fixed on the fourth page of the contract.

"Are you planning on having sex with me?" Alex wiggled his eyebrows at Jade, turning to face Draco. "I was talking to Jade by the way. Don't get excited, Von Stroker."

"It's worth taking a look, guys," Finn said, also reading his contract.

Jade immediately turned to the page in question.

"All partners must first get a Full panel STD screening before any kind of sexual practice," Jade read aloud, and Draco, Alex, and Everett grumbled.

"Oh thank God!" Frank let out a relieved sigh, with a hand on his chest.

“Why?” Everett growled.

"Not everyone in this room is immune to STDs. Monster genes, in general, keep us healthy by not being compatible with any type of virus or bacteria," Zeth said, with a graceful hand to his chest. "But I'm so smart that I prefer to be cautious because Jade is a human."

"Wait, everyone is immune to everything?" Jade asked, and every guy nodded. "Good! Well, if you're immune... What the hell is the problem?! I am a virgin!"

"Are you a virgin?" Draco gasped. Kevin blinked many times, as if he couldn't take it in. Zeth didn't seem surprised. Everett grumbled a bit but then grinned from ear to ear.

"I'm a virgin too," Finn said, scratching his head and blushing.

"I don't give a damn if you're Virgin Mary herself," Zeth said, holding up his contract. "No sex until test results."

"Condoms and lubrication are to be used impeccably for all penetrative sex," Alex read aloud and grumbled, slamming a hand on the table. "No mames, Zeth! Are you serious?!"

"Very serious," Zeth replied with half-shut eyes. "Do you think I want wolverines walking around all over my Solar? Your species usually has many, many children on the first try! Damn! Your family is even bigger than that of Count Nefertom Munrahman with Countess Rubina Rahman of the Sphinx!"

“I had a vasectomy a long time ago, Zeth. I had many girlfriends, I don't know if you know. And who are these people you're talking about?” Alex cocked his head.

“Of course, I forgot that you don't know anything about Evalonian history," Zeth grumbled, "But the rest of you, does this sound good or not?"

"This sounds good to me," Frank mused and then read aloud from his contract. "All humans who are a part of this relationship, male or female, will get tested every month for STDs and share results. If one discovers they’ve been exposed to an STD, they must cease all sexual intercourse and tell their partners immediately." Frank lowered his contract and nodded. "It seems reasonable to me."

"If some human comes out positive for an STD, they must tell everyone who they have slept with during the window between their last negative test," Everett read with a grunt. "Almost none of this applies to monsters."

"Exactly!" Jade spoke up, slamming her hands on the table. "If you guys are immune and the only human I'll have sex with is no one… Why worry about an STD? Why worry at all?"

"Because in the future we may add more people to the relationship and those people may be humans, Jade. Lust can blind even the wisest and noblest, and we don't want another Clash of the Rahmans on a smaller scale within the band," Zeth said. "That is why we are signing contracts, and the consequences for breaking them are severe."

"Spontaneous sexual acts are allowed as long as both parties agree on the acts that are planned to be committed. Any spontaneous sexual act must be notified to the other members of the band as well to avoid secrets, jealousy and arguments." Alex read and slapped the paper. "Please! Planned sex is boring!"

"It's not planned sex," Zeth explained. "It's just spelling out what's allowed and what's not. And if you don't like it, you can make love to your fist all you want, Alycandro Alfaro."

"Fine!" Alex grunted and crossed his arms, growling. "That sounds fair, but I'm not going to make a list to have sex in any specific order."

"Don't be silly!" Draco shot back. "It's just to see if your partner wants to do something or not."

"I got it the first time," Alex glanced at the vampire. "I'm just making my stance on planned sex clear."

"Do not have sex with someone if they are under the influence of drugs or alcohol, or during an active STD," Jade read aloud. She then nodded and looked up at Zeth. "Hey, I get that you want the best for everyone, but you take the fun out of everything, Zeth."

"You know what takes the fun out of it more than I do?" Zeth asked, and Jade shook her head. "Unexpected situations due to irresponsibility. So no, it's not a flexible contract."

Jade grunted and continued reading from her sheet, already very desperate and with the urgency to sign as soon as possible.

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