It Began In Italy | ✔️

Chapter Thirty Three

Time seems to move in an endless blur as everyone gathers in the hallway before the door - suitcases and luggage in hand. My mind is in an extreme state of denial. I'm still hoping the familiar sound of his knocking will occur and I'll be able to run into his arms. This is beyond far from how I had expected this to go. 

I can't even imagine what Nico will think when he eventually realises that we're gone. When he realises the house is vacant and instead of a meaningful goodbye, all he gave me was a cold dismissal and aching rejection. If he even cares that is. Maybe Calli was right. Maybe Nico was hoping that we'd be getting the last flight home, to save him from a goodbye that he couldn't be bothered to pretend to be heartbroken about. 

No, that can't be true. Overthinking at its finest. I can feel that it's not true. I could feel it in the way his touches grazed my skin, his urge to constantly be in contact with me. I could feel it in the way those three words would fall from his lips. 

I love you. 

Vienna swings an arm over my shoulders, pulling me back to reality and away from my last tethers to Nico. "I can't leave without saying goodbye," I whisper, my throat coarse and raspy from the crying in the solace of my bedroom. 

"I'm so sorry, Heidi, but we can't stay and we're not leaving you here. Just think of the year ahead of you. In a month you're starting your first year of University - the degree you've been raving on about since you were twelve. Your dream of opening a book shop... your future. If by some chance it is meant to be, I'm sure you will find your way back to each other. But for now, you need to let go, for your own sake." Her voice is soft and comforting.

A long silence stretches between the both of us, the voices of everyone else fading out. "We sort of had an argument before I left... the thought of leaving things like that between us... I just- I can't," my voice catches on the last word and I hate myself for doing this. 

This should have been a holiday with my family, not a holiday for spending with a stranger from the island. Anger flourishes through me and I wish that I had never agreed to come here. I should have stayed home with Calli, it would have saved me the heartbreak and the haunting of those blue eyes. 

Vienna leaves my side before walking into the kitchen. She disappears for a couple of minutes before appearing once more, a notebook and pen in hand. "Leave him a note. I'm sure he'll come back. We can stick it under a plant pot outside?" she suggests and I nod my head. 

Grabbing the note book from here, I rip out a page before leaning against the table and spouting every thought that comes to mind. 

Dear Nico, 

As you can probably tell from the vacant house, we had to leave early. As I write this, I'm filled with deep regret as to how we ended things. It's not like us. I don't have much time so I'm going to have to keep this short and sweet. Thank you - for everything. In the short time that I've known you, I've experienced a happiness not many people find in a lifetime. It is safe to say that... you've won. I love surprises. As much as it irks me to admit. I'll carry our memories with me until I'm old and withered, telling everyone in sight about my summer in Italy when I was 18. Telling them about the man that showed me the island, taught me the history of Vernazza and a few important Italian words along the way. You're a real stronzo for making me leave. I tried to find you but you were gone. I hope your family are okay and I wish you the best with the restaurant. Tell Miriam that I'll be thinking about her gelato for the rest of my days. I love you, Nico, and I will keep my promise. Love is not beautiful if it is not a quarrel. 

Tuo amore, Heidi.

"Heidi, the coach is at the top of the hill... we need to go, now," my mother insists as I fold the paper tight and kiss it for luck, hoping the Nico will find it.