Kissing Is the Easy Part

Chapter 51 The warehouse

Flora

After Sean freaked out over his insignificant German test earlier, he came over to my apartment in the evening. My parents were back from their business trip in Rio de Janeiro, but they were still in the office downtown solving some kind of crisis. Usually Sean started kissing me as soon as I latched the front door, but he brushed past me and headed straight to my room. He sat himself down on the floor and delivered his grand opening, "I need to talk to you."

"You sound like a housewife who's mad that the husband forgot to take out the trash again."

"I'm crazy about you," he said, ignoring my comment. "I think you know that. But we can't go on like this."

"Like what? Being in love with each other?" I didn't like the sound of it. He sounded like he was pulling away and I hated the seriousness of him, like he was about to give me a lecture.

"You're acting defensive before I even say anything."

I heaved a long sigh. "Fine. Talk. I'm not going to interrupt until you finish." I felt like the man in the relationship. I was impatient and insensitive, and I just wanted him to shut up fast so I could kiss him. Of all the wonderful things he could do with his mouth, he chose to talk to me.

"Okay, I think we have to establish some rules," he started. "I'm tired all the time. I thought I can juggle everything, but I found out I can't study and date you and go on my games at the same time, on top of sleeping five hours everyday."

He's sacrificing me. School, sports, sleep, sex-that was his list of priorities, exactly in that order. Obviously I couldn't compare with the others, and I was going to be the first junk he threw out of this sinking ship. I bit on my lower lip hard.

"Don't get me wrong. You're very important," he clarified as if he read my mind. "Too important. Ever since I got you back I've been thinking about how to make this last, and that's why I can't burn out myself too quickly." He smiled at me. "I want you in my life for as long as you're willing to stay."

How many people could resist Sean like that? My insides turned into mushy pink goo and I imagined myself melting and sliding into a puddle on the floor. I nodded.

"I hope that's what you want too, you know, a steady long-term relationship," he said as if it was something embarrassing to admit, then he added, "Because if you just want a winter fling, I'll start undressing you right now and you can forget everything I just said."

I laughed. "I want to have a long-term relationship too," I said, my face heating up. Why did the concept of getting serious make me shyer than getting naked? That I'd never know, but it stirred up a lightheaded, delicious feeling in me like a glass of exquisite pink champagne.

He grinned and it turned his eyes into blue crescents. "Great. So we're on the same page." As the crescents expanded back into full moons he got serious again. "Okay, first of all, I think we have to spend less time together. I can't stay with you that late and we have to limit our phone conversations. I also can't text you in class anymore because I'd just be waiting for you to text back. I really need to concentrate."

My pink champagne vaporized. Getting serious didn't seem like it offered any advantage, and wait, there was more to come.

"I can't take you to guy's night, and I want to hang out with Janet sometimes, because I've been completely ignoring her. I mean, together with you, of course."

"I never said you can't hang out with Janet. You don't need me to chaperone," I said. That had always been his issue and not mine.

"No, I want to be fair."