Kissing Is the Easy Part

Chapter 19 The violin recital (1)

Sean

How do you break up with someone you're not even in a relationship with? Especially when the reason is because you're afraid that person will fall in love with you?

Lucia was just someone I hung out with a couple of times and shared one lukewarm kiss with. I didn't think a formal talk was in order, so I just started acting more and more distant so she wouldn't get any wrong ideas. I thought I was doing the right thing, but I had only managed to earn myself a bad name.

"So what are you, a heartbreaker now?" Janet asked. "You got tired of Lucia even quicker than with Flora."

"It's not like that." Janet was convinced that I was the bad guy in my previous relationship and I couldn't be bothered to defend myself. I briefly explained what Leslie told me, but she was skeptical.

"I think Leslie should mind her own business. She barely even knows you. As long as you and Lucia are both happy, I don't think it's so wrong to have a casual relationship."

I agreed with Leslie, however. I thought what I did was unethical, and I was glad she had the guts to point it out to me. As time passed I still talked to her occasionally. I realized that what I was trying to do with Lucia could be achieved better by talking to Leslie.

In a way I was still using her to get over my ex, but it was more socially acceptable with conversations, and it wasn't entirely one-sided. When I wasn't pouring my heart out over Flora, she was telling me fragments about herself.

She told me she missed her dad in Austria and she didn't talk much with her mom. She never had sleepovers because it would interfere with her violin practice, which was her top priority. She and Lucia were twins but they were never close, and she didn't hang out with her sister's friends. Jake and Dylan intimidated her. I assured her that even though they weren't boy scouts, they were nice enough guys. Leslie was unconvinced.

She thought it was ridiculous when people talked about their dreams, tossing out ambitions wildly like "I want to open a chain restaurant" or "I want to be an actress" without doing anything to push that goal. They didn't work like she did and she understood about sacrifices. Playing at Carnegie Hall wasn't just something to brag about. It was blood, sweat and tears, literally, and no one knew how much she had to give up to get there.

After the friendship was established, we moved on to other things such as studying for the SAT together. It was Leslie's suggestion. It struck me as strange that she was worrying about it so early, but it was nice to meet a fellow nerd. All I wanted to do in the spring of junior year was to ace the SAT and I didn't mind a partner.

Most of the time we studied quietly. I didn't feel the need to chat and I appreciated the silent company.

We were in the middle of solving math problems one day. Leslie was moving a little too much, flipping her pages too fast, and when I glanced up, I saw her face was flushed.

"You have a hard time concentrating today," I said.

"It's because I'm going to have a violin recital next week. At the city concert hall."

I knew how much Leslie loved a public performance and I was excited for her. I said my heartfelt congratulations.

"I'm really looking forward to it. Playing in my bedroom is fun, especially on a stormy, rainy night, but the reason I practice so hard is so I can be heard." She blushed. "Does that sound narcissistic?"

I liked how Leslie was opinionated but self-conscious at the same time. She tried to speak her mind but still she worried about what people thought of her. "You're the least narcissistic person I know of, plus you really should be proud of yourself. When are you playing?"