You can Bet on Me

Part 23 ~ Incredibly Drunk and More Heartbreak

Maddison
It was late at night already, and I had been unable to fall asleep, so I had resorted to sitting downstairs with a mug of coffee (that would not help my restlessness) and waiting for Addison and Abagail to come home, since they had both not came home yet. Eleanor had fell into an uncomfortable slumber and Danielle had fallen asleep too. I checked the time on the clock on our wall – it was almost midnight already, and I hadn't gotten even a text or call from either of them.
But I had gotten a text and a call from Michael.
Of course, I was in no rush to see him or hear his voice again. I knew that if I did, I might not be able to keep my composure anymore and break out into tears. And of course I wouldn't want Michael to hear me crying.
Finally, I heard the door open and I immediately got to my feet. At the door, Abagail stumbled inside the house. Her eyes were glazed and she was dressed in skimpy clothes that I wouldn't dare to ever wear. She had been to a party, and judged by how she walked so wonkily, she was obviously drunk as fuck. It was a surprise that she even managed to get home and I gasped, "did you drive? Abagail, you better have not driven home."
"Nuh-uh," slurred Abagail, "I didn't steer no choo-choo. Friend steered choo-choo. Took me to pointy roof house. Where am I?"
"You're at home," I said. In her drunken state, it was a surprise she was even still conscious, much less able to walk.
"Where's home?" she slurred, tottering on her impossibly high heels to lean on the kitchen counter. I shivered. I was in for a long night.
"Where you are now," I stated slowly, quickly getting to my feet to help Abagail. As soon as I gently grabbed onto her arm to steady her, she leaned on me and though she was fairly light, she was like a deadweight as I dragged her to the dining table and sat her down on a chair. Getting a cup, I filled it up with water and gave it to her.
"Drink," I commanded. Softer, I added, "it'll help your drunken state." Softening my voice so she couldn't hear, I added, "you'll have a terrible hangover tomorrow."
I bet that even if I had raised my voice to let her hear what I said, she wouldn't have heard anyways. She was playing with her hair and twirling it around her finger, of which would probably have been a flirtatious gesture if she wasn't so drunk.
"Brown," Abagail slurred, twisting her hair and letting it go so that it formed gentle curls in her beautiful brown hair that was a shade brighter than mine. She let out a little laugh that sounded ever so slightly like a maniac as she garbled, "funny. I never knew my hair was brown."
I internally rolled my eyes and said more firmly, "drink. Now." She let out a protesting groan but took it from me anyways and gulped it all down. Finally, I thought, putting her limp arm around my shoulders and hoisting her to her feet. She could barely support herself as I half dragged half carried her towards her room, which was one of the few bedrooms in our house with an ensuite bathroom. I pulled her to the sink and helped her wash off the kilos of makeup she was wearing before letting her change into something less skimpy and something more suited for sleeping in and comfort. By then, she was barely conscious and now I was full-on carrying her whenever I needed to move her somewhere. It was terrible, but I knew I wouldn't just let her sleep in that horrible state. As much as I hated her sometimes, I loved her too.
Just like how you thought you had something with Michael? The voice in my head teased scathingly. And that set off all the bombs in my head and brought the one thing I had avoided thinking about so desperately into my head – Michael. Michael, and his stupid bets and his stupid grin and his stupid charms that I just couldn't get over. Already I could picture his warm, blue eyes staring at me like they had at Ferguson's, and I realised how much I wished and longed to see him, even if it would break my heart all over again.
Throughout the day, I had busied myself and my mind with taking care of Eleanor and managed to put a thin barrier up between me and the thought of Michael, but those bombs had completely demolished my weak, pathetic barrier and the same, overwhelming emotions flooded over me once again. I couldn't shut them out. I couldn't hold them back. But I would try. I would pretend I didn't care and that it didn't bother me one bit.
But it does, my thoughts refused to shut up. I scrunched my nose up as I felt hot tears forming behind my eyes, and I quickly wiped them away before they could fall. Busying myself, I dumped Abagail in her bed and tucked her in like I would have done to a five-year-old. She fell asleep as soon as her head hit the pillow, and it was nice to see how peaceful and reserved she was as she slept. Letting out a sigh, my thoughts flitted back to Michael. Michael, and his warm eyes and comforting grin and his one true smile rather than the easy, well-practiced smile he showed everyone at school. As I got sucked deep into my thoughts, I heard the door open.
My first thought was that someone had broken in, but the house alarm didn't go off. I got up and went to the door to find Addison on the floor in a mess of tears and her body shaking uncontrollably. I quickly rushed to her side and asked softly, "what happened? What's wrong?"
"S-Sam," she sobbed, raising her head out of her hands. Her lip quivered and she took a deep gulp of air before she spoke again. "H-He broke up with me."
I hadn't seen Sam much, but I knew from the way Addison looked at him and talked about him that she loved him very much, and thought Sam did too. From what I had seen, Sam seemed to love games more than he loved his girlfriend, and I wondered how on earth Addison could love and be with a guy like that. Only after getting my heart broken did I realise how sick and twisted love was.
"How could he? Why would he do that to you?" I asked, my voice soft as I tried not to provoke more waterworks. I put an arm on her shoulder and pulled her tight to me, getting up. She stood up without protest and I set her down on the couch. She swallowed deeply and looked me in the eyes. Her dazzling brown eyes usually so much brighter and teasing than mine were dull and pain stricken. Her heart had been broken, as mine had been.
"He-He said... that I was too plain," she let out another sob and her head fell back into her hands. I patted her back and waited patiently until she was ready to speak again. "That I wasn't enough for a guy like him. But- But I tried so hard to be good enough for a guy like him. Why, Maddison, why? Why wasn't I good enough?"
"You're not good enough?" I snorted. "More like he's not good enough. He doesn't deserve such a sweet, kind, beautiful girl like you. Don't put yourself down. You're more than good enough for him, and if he doesn't see that, then he's an idiot and never deserved you anyways."
"You're just saying that," Addison sniffed.
"Addy, look at me," I turned her shoulders to face me and I could see the pain and heartbreak in her eyes all over again. "You are the most amazing and wonderful girl there is. You are worth everything and anything, and you're surrounded by others who think that too. Don't make other people like Sam make you feel not good enough, because you are. Believe me, I'm speaking the truth. Ask anyone, and they'll say that you're worth everything. I'm not just saying this because you're my sister and I hate to see you heartbroken, I'm saying this because it's the fucking truth, and if your boyfriend doesn't see that, then he's an absolute jerk."
Like Michael, I would have liked to add, but I stayed silent. Voicing my own heartbreak wouldn't help Addison at all, and right now, I needed to make sure she's okay, even more than I was, even if I was heartbroken and splintered too.
"Ex-boyfriend," Addison reminded me with a small smile. I shared her smile and said, "see? You're getting over him already. You're so much stronger than you think. So much better than you think."
Addison looked at me, taking a deep breath.
"Thanks. I'm not sure where I'd be without you," Addison smiled, pulling me in for a hug. "I might not get over this for the next month and spend hours complaining to you about how much of a jerk and idiot and asshole Sam was, but I'll be okay."
"Just give it time," I whispered softly. "Do you want a cup of tea, your favourite?"
"Citron and raspberry?" she asked, a small smile forming on her lips. "Yes. Please. Something warm, anything warm would be good right now."
"I'll do that," I said.
Soon, we were both sitting at the table, Addison with a mug of hot citron and raspberry tea in hand, and me with my cup of coffee. We sat in silence, and my thoughts began wandering to Michael. I didn't want to think about him, but the thought of him was like an annoying bug that just kept coming back again and again and stinging me in the heart; hitting me where it hurt the most and breaking open fresh wounds.
"You should stop drinking coffee," Addison suggested gently. "That is, if you ever want to get to sleep."
"Maybe I don't," I murmured, taking the final sip of my coffee and putting the empty cup in the sink. Addison quickly finished her tea and put her cup in the sink beside mine and we both went upstairs to her room. She sat on her bed, and something about her expression told me that she wasn't going to sleep and that she needed me more than ever now. Even if she smiled, I knew she was hurting on the inside. Just like me.
I sat beside her, unwilling to speak unless she wanted me to. What would I say? I needed to comfort her more than ever now, but how could I comfort someone when my advice would be biased by my own heartbreak? I didn't get a chance to think it through as Addison said with a sad smile, "I'm going to see him tomorrow. I don't want to have to see his face."
"I understand," I nodded. "Maybe you don't have to go to school tomorrow, though. Eleanor is sick with something like the flu, and Abagail is going to wake up with a terrible hangover tomorrow, so I'm going to need some more help than Danielle around the house tomorrow."
"What about mum and papa?" Addison asked softly. I stiffened.
"They're not going to be around." I replied with a shake of my head. "They never are. But that's okay. I have you and Eleanor and Danielle, and Abagail, when she's not so drunk. I don't need them if they don't need us."
Addison nodded and looked away from me. "What happened to Abagail?"
"She came home really, really drunk," I would have laughed at the memory of how she had stumbled home like a newborn calf if I weren't so pained. "Which means she's going to have a terrible hangover tomorrow. She was probably at a party."
"Gosh, she really just can't say no to alcohol," Addison laughed lightly. Her laughter quickly dissipated and she whispered so softly that I could barely catch her words, "can you tell me what to do? Tell me what to do if I see Sam? I won't be able to stop myself from crying if and when I see him at some point, and that would give him the pleasure of knowing I cared. Once."
"Then don't give him the pleasure," I said simply. "Don't show him that you're hurting. You can hurt inside, but control yourself outside. That's what I do all the time." I gave her a sad smile of my own and she looked at me. I probably mirrored her heartbroken, pained expression, but I didn't care. Not one bit.
"Did something happen to you too?" she asked.
"It's... complicated," I stumbled over my words, unsure if I was ready to tell Addison about what had happened. How me and Michael had gone down, and what was the real reason I was so heartbroken and empty.
"You don't have to tell me if you don't want to," she said. "Just know that if you do, I'm right here and I won't laugh or interrupt you or make you feel bad. I'll be here to hear out your own heartbreaks whenever you need."
I took a deep breath and sighed. "You remember... Michael, right?" I stammered, my voice faltering at the mere mention of Michael's name. She nodded. "It turns out.... I was a bet. I was just some stupid bet he made with his friends to date me for a month. They probably found it entertaining, but I hate people like that. People who play with others' hearts and just throw them away once they're broken. Realising I was a bet killed me. And I hadn't even found out from Michael – I found out from his poisonous ex."
Addison paused for a moment. "Why did it kill you?"
"Because I loved him," I replied, taking a caution to speak in past tense. Loved. Not love. But even so, it would take me a long time to mend my heart. I was still picking up the pieces, and I would be for a long time before I can even start to piece them back together.
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I had fallen asleep in Addison's room – we had talked the night away and she seemed slightly better by the time she fell asleep. I had quickly followed her in her sleep and somehow I had fallen asleep, despite all the coffee I had. When I awoke, it was just barely seven in the morning and I was desperate to fall back asleep, but I couldn't. Groaning, I got up, letting the fresh, morning cold seep into my skin. I shuddered as I got up and stumbled over to look at myself in Addison's mirror – I was a mess. My hair was sticking out in every direction and my eyes were red and raw.
That reminded me of last night – we had both ended up crying, but as pathetic as it sounds, it made me feel better.
But that sure took its toll now that I was awake, and I could barely look at my ugly self in the mirror. I smoothed down my hair and (attempted to) brush it out. I winced as the comb got caught in my hair several times, but finally managed to untangle all my knots. I went to Addison's ensuite bathroom and washed my face until I could look in the mirror and not be sick at my terrible appearance. No amount of water could get rid of the red, raw look in my eyes though, so I was stuck with them for the day. Taking a deep breath, I went to my room and changed into some sportier clothes and a casual jumper. I pulled my limp hair into a messy bun and jogged downstairs.
It was quiet – an unusual occasion for a family of eight. I preferred waking up early to bake in the morning because it was quiet, and let me sit with my thoughts without Danielle and Eleanor arguing or Sammy crying or Abagail yelling at me to help find her mascara or whatever.
But for once, I didn't enjoy the silence. I actually wanted that loudness and chaos that takes place in the mornings. Perhaps it would distract me from my pain. From my heartbreak. My thoughts seemed to just have to fill the silence, and what did they fill it with? Michael. The one guy I didn't want to think about, yet the one guy I loved so badly.
Desperate to leave all the silence and painful thoughts behind me, I decided to go for a run. As I left the house, I grabbed my keys. As soon as I stepped outside, a cold gust hit me, reminding me of every terrible thing that had happened to me.
Michael. Why? Why did he have to break my heart when I didn't even know that I had given it to him? How had I fallen in love with someone who I barely knew? More importantly, why did I want someone who had broken my heart back?
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