Jack: No, it's good, it is good, it's just that- mm- doesn't she seem a little angry?
Dove: Well, she has issues.
Jack: Does she.
Dove: He's out banging other women over the head with a club, while she sits at home trying to get the mastodon smell out of the carpet!
Jack: Dove, these are cave people. Okay? They have issues like 'Gee, that glacier's getting kinda close.' See?
Dove: Speaking of issues, isn't that your ex-wife?
(Cheryl has entered behind them, outside the exhibit)
Jack: (trying to ignore her) No. No.
Dove: Yes, it is. Cheryl! Hi!
Jack: Okay, okay, yes, it is. (waving) How about I'll, uh, catch up with you in the Ice Age.
(Exit Dove. Jack waves at Cheryl to come into thr exhibit)
Jack: Hi.
Cheryl: So.
Jack: You look great. I, uh... I hate that.
Cheryl: Sorry. You look good too.
Jack: Ah, well, in here, anyone who... stands erect... So what's new? Still, uh...
Cheryl: A lesbian?
Jack: Well... you never know. How's, um.. how's the family?
Cheryl: Jason's still totally paranoid. Oh, and, uh-
Jack: Why- why are you here, Cheryl?
Cheryl: I'm pregnant.
Jack: Pregnant?!
(Cut to Natasha and Alice's apartment, where Clint, Peter, Carol and Natasha are watching "Three's Company")
Clint: Oh, I think this is the episode of Three's Company where there's some kind of misunderstanding.
Carol:...Then I've already seen this one! (turns off tv)
Natasha: (taking drink from Peter) Are you through with that?
Peter: Yeah, sorry, the swallowing slowed me down.
Natasha: Whose little ball of paper is this?!
Clint: Oh, uh, that would be mine. See, I wrote a note to myself, and then I realised I didn't need it, so I balled it up and... (off Natasha's look) ...now I wish I was dead.
(Natasha starts to fluff a pillow)
Carol: She's already fluffed that pillow... Natasha, you know, you've already fluffed that- (Nat gives her a look) -but, it's fine!
Natasha: Look , I'm sorry, guys, I just don't wanna give them any more ammunition than they already have.
Clint: Yes, and we all know how cruel a parent can be about the flatness of a child's pillow.
Carol: Natasha- Hi! Um, Natasha, you're scaring me. I mean, you're like, you're like all chaotic and twirly. And not-not in a good way.
Peter: Yeah, calm down. You don't see Jack getting all chaotic and twirly every time they come.
Natasha: That's because as far as my parents are concerned, Jack can do no wrong. Y'see, he's the Prince. Apparently they had some big ceremony before I was born.
Clint: (AT WINDOW) Ew, ew, ew, ew ew ew ew ew!
Natasha: What?
Clint: Ugly Naked Guy got a Thighmaster!
YOU ARE READING
𝑭.𝑹.𝑰.𝑬.𝑵.𝑫.𝑺. (Jack x Alice/side Natasha x Clint)
Fanfiction6 friends who go through just about every life experience imaginable together; love, marriage, divorce, children, heartbreaks, fights, new jobs and job losses and all sorts of drama. Dedicated in memory of James Michael Tyler for his role as Gunter...
