[Pre-intro scene: Natasha and Alice's apartment. Clint walks in and starts raiding the fridge. Then Alice comes out of the shower with a towel wrapped round her waist, drying herself with another towel. Clint and Alice startle each other and she drops the towel for a second and snatches the rug off the couch]
Rachel: That is IT! You just barge in here, you don't knock-
Clint: I'm sorry!
Alice: -You have no respect for anybody's privacy-
Clint: Alice, wait, wait.
Alice: No, you wait! This is ridiculous!
Clint: Can I just say one thing?
Alice: What? What?!
Clint: That's a relatively open weave and I can still see your... nipular areas.
Alice: Oh!!
[She storms off]
[Scene 1: Central Perk. Carol is there with her boyfriend Archie, talking to Alice and Natasha]
Carol: Oh, honey, honey, tell them the story about your patient who thinks things are, like, other things. Y'know? Like, the phone rings and she takes a shower.
Archie: That's pretty much it.
Carol: Oops!
Archie: But you tell it really well, sweetie.
Carol: Thanks. Okay, now go away so we can talk about you.
Archie: Okay. I'll miss you.
Carol: Isn't he great?
Alice: He's so cute! And he seems to like you so much.
Carol: I know, I know. So sweet... and so complicated. And for a shrink, he's not too shrinky, y'know?
Natasha: So, you think you'll do it on his couch?
Carol: Oh, I don't know, I don't know. I think that's a little weird, y'know? Vinyl.
Alice: Okaaay. [To the guys, on the couch] Any of you guys want anything else?
Clint: Oh, yes, could I have one of those-
Alice: No, I'm sorry, we're all out of those. Anybody else?
Clint: Okay.
Archie: Did I, uh, did I miss something?
Clint: No, she's still upset because I saw her boobies.
Jack: You what? Wh- what were you doing seeing her boobies?
Clint: It was an accident. Not like I was across the street with a telescope and a box of donuts.
Alice: Okay, okay, could we change the subject, please?
Carol: Yeah, 'cause hello, these are not her boobies, these are her breasts.
Alice: Okay, Cari, I was hoping for more of a change.
Clint: Y'know, I don't know why you're so embarrassed, they were very nice boobies.
Alice: Nice? They were nice. I mean, that's it? I mean, mittens are nice.
Clint: Okaaay, [Gestures] rock, hard place, me.
Archie: You're so funny! He's really funny! I wouldn't wanna be there when- when the laughter stops.
Clint: Whoah whoah, back up there, Sparky. What'd you mean by that?
Archie: Oh, just seems as though that maybe you have intimacy issues. Y'know, that you use your humour as a way of keeping people at a distance.
YOU ARE READING
𝑭.𝑹.𝑰.𝑬.𝑵.𝑫.𝑺. (Jack x Alice/side Natasha x Clint)
Fanfic6 friends who go through just about every life experience imaginable together; love, marriage, divorce, children, heartbreaks, fights, new jobs and job losses and all sorts of drama. Dedicated in memory of James Michael Tyler for his role as Gunter...
