Game Of Bliss

(64)

"Flo."

"Not right now, Mal, I'm sorry," Florence responds, "massive family issue."

"Family issue? Flo, your family is here," Malachi replies.

"I've been trying to convince myself the same thing, Mal, but no matter how hard I try, I still care, I still worry, I still want to know," Florence says, "Polly and John, they're my family, and they're in danger. So is Tommy. I don't like him, but he's my brother, and I'm scared for him."

"What're you on about?" Malachi asks, softly taking her shaking hand.

"Grace has been killed," Florence states, "at their charity event. The Changrettas sent someone, and they shot her dead. You know what the Changrettas are like, they don't stop until everybody is dead. That could include us."

"It won't," Malachi says.

"You don't know that," Florence says.

"I do. Forgive me for saying this, Flo, but I find it hard to give a shit about anyone outside of this house, and I won't let anything happen to the people inside it," Malachi states.

"It's my family, Mal," Florence whispers, "they helped me through some of the hardest times of my life. I can't just stop caring about them, it's not that easy. I do give a shit about what happens to them. I wanted to get away, I don't want to be the last one standing."

"Tommy got himself into this mess, I'm sure he can get himself out of it," Malachi replies.

"His wife has just been killed, Mal," Florence exclaims, "I should be there for him. We may not be on the best of terms, but come on, he's still human. He'll still need his family."

"You want to go and see him after what happened last time we visited?" Malachi says.

"I- yes. I thought physical distance would make it easier to emotionally distance myself, but I can't. I'm sorry." Florence replies.

Malachi wanted to tell her that it was okay. That he understood. But he didn't. He couldn't for the life of him bring himself to understand why Florence still cared so much for her brother. The one she'd pleaded with him to leave. The one she'd wanted to escape. The one who continuously put their lives in danger.

"I'm going," Florence states firmly, "you don't have to. You just have to accept that I am still emotionally tied to my family. When they hurt, I hurt. When they're mourning, so am I. I can't help myself."

"You care so much for people who care so little for you, love," Malachi sighs, "it genuinely aches my heart that you don't realise that you deserve better than whatever they give you."

"I know I deserve better," Florence mumbles.

"Do you?" Malachi replies, "because it seems that at any presented opportunity you want to go running back to Birmingham. Running back to them. Flo, you were the one determined to leave."

What Florence appreciated when they were in a disagreement was that Mal never raised his voice. She hated shouting. Shouting usually led to physical violence, or at least that was her experience.

"I know," Florence sighs, "I know I was. And I don't want to live there, but that doesn't mean I'm against visiting. I realise now that I want to be in their lives, but not in the danger zone. That wouldn't be an option if we lived there."

"That's not an option," Malachi replies, "even visiting them puts you in the danger zone. It puts us all in the danger zone. Elspeth, Finn, Eldon."

"Don't bring them into this," Florence says.

"They are apart of this, Flo, as much as you'd like for your decisions to just impact you, they won't, and you know that, they've just gone for Grace, haven't they?" Malachi responds, "as much as I don't want you going, I'm never going to forbid it, I just want you to think thoroughly through your decision."

"I have."

"Have you? Because you didn't seem to acknowledge the implications it'd have for the other people living in this house," Malachi shrugs, "Flo, I've done everything you've asked of me, I've done all I can to make this house a safe space and you're willing to sacrifice that. I knew this was going to happen."

"What's that meant to mean?" Florence asks.

"I tried, Flo, I tried to get you to speak to your brothers because I knew you'd always want to see them... I tried to play their fuck-ups down because I knew they'd always be in our lives, and you were the one who told me to stop doing that. You told me you'd never forgive them, you told me they weren't the ones that mattered to you, yet they seem to be what you're prioritising. The wedding... now this?"

"You know how our relationship was, you can't tell me that if god-forbid you and Betts were ever on bad terms that you wouldn't drop everything to go and see her if her partner had been killed... no matter what happened between you two, I know that you would do anything to get to her and be her person of comfort," Florence says, shrugging helplessly, "that's what it's like with Tom and I."

"Bad terms? He's the reason we have targets on our heads. That you got stabbed. That I've been stabbed and shot. It's worse than bad terms, Florence," Malachi says, "and don't bring Betty into this, because I would've never put her in the position we're in and she wouldn't have done it to me. My dead fucking sister is how you want to win this argument? Are you being serious?"

Malachi shakes his head, scoffing lightly, before turning away from Florence, continuing to walk away even when she reaches for him to apologise. He was genuinely befuddled, he didn't ever think he'd be in this position. He didn't think Florence would be so selfish.

Florence runs a hand through her hair, this isn't how the conversation was meant to go. She didn't know why she always felt the need to get so defensive. To bring up things Malachi would never even think of bringing up in an argument. Why did she bring up Betty? She knew that was a re-opened scar for him. Why did she want to see her brother? She couldn't really put it into words. She just felt this pull, like she needed him, and she liked to feel like someone needed her.