Lights, Camera, Rumblefish!

Ch. 18

Susie called me a week later to say Matt was flying up there and to be prepared for the ultimate meltdown. She said I should stay in a private spot and drink until I'm numb so I won't remember anything. So I stayed in the room the whole day, shaking and drinking with Christine. And it was raining. Hard. Thundering and lightening and I kept calling the airport to see if the flight was delayed; it wasn't. It came in on time and he took a cab to the hotel and I sat in fear.
There was a knock on the door. I froze in reading my book. They knocked again.
"Essie, open the damn door!" Matt yelled from outside. I shut my book and rose.
"You cannot come at me! If you physically touch me-"
"I'm not gonna touch ya, Essie. I won't even bat a lash at you, open the door!" He rammed his fist into it.
I opened it and he was standing in a wet raincoat, hair soaked, clothes drenched and a suitcase behind him. He barged in, dropped his suitcase in the middle of the floor. He took off his coat and handed it to me.
"What the hell do you want me to do with this?" I snapped.
"I don't know. Do what you want," he said. I laid it over the bathtub and when I saw him again, he was sitting comfortably in the armchair.
"How are you, Essie? Life's good up here?" He asked.
"Sure. Life is fine."
"You working on the movie?"
"Sometimes. I took the day off today," I said.
"That's good... I have a question for you."
"Yeah?"
"Why the fuck would you leave me for dead in the middle of the road in a car accident and then go for Chicago, huh?"
"Because you fucking hit me! I wasn't going to deal with that!"
"Yeah, Essie, now I have a DUI under my belt and revoked my license for a year. And I'm in a shitload of trouble with Francis, and I have a big fine to pay. Not only that but you left me. And now I have no car, I was in the hospital for days because of burns and broken ribs and shit like that," he snapped. I looked at his face. He did have cuts and scars from the accidents still shown after weeks.
"So what am I supposed to do, Essie? Are we calling off the wedding or-"
"No. We're not."
"Okay. Why not? Give me one good reason why I shouldn't call it off."
"Because I love you."
"Then you wouldn't have left me for dead in the accident. Try again."
"Because I really need someone like you to look after an asshole like me," I said.
"Why should I do anything for you?"
"Why did you even come up here? All you do is criticize me!"
"I have a pretty damn good reason to criticize you right now!"
"Why did you come up? Why did you call me all those times when you were drunk and crying?"
"Because I love you, Essie. But I think you went too far this time."
"Matt, I needed to get away."
"Then you go to the Poconos or wherever the fuck it is. You don't flee from an accident scene to go to Chicago."
"I did, Matt. And I'm fine. You cannot control me anymore, that's not how this is going to happen."
"I've been thinking about this a while, Essie. I don't know if I should call this off or not," he said. I was quiet and I sat on the bed.
"You have every reason to..."
"I do."
"But I have every reason to call it off to. I may have fled but you hit me and nothing you could say could excuse you for that."
"Essie, I was drunk and-"
"What did I just fuckin say? No excuse can make up for that! You should've never laid a finger on me!"
"Ok, you're right, I'm sorry."
"No, you're not. Because if I let this go once, then you'll do it again. When you're drunk. And it'll be a big mess again," I said.
"Essie, I didn't enjoy hitting you-"
"I didn't enjoy fleeing..."
"Then why'd you do it?" I was quiet.
"You've been knowing me for a long time, Matt, but you don't seem to understand that I need a life away from you sometimes," I said.
"I don't think you're getting my point either, Essie. You abandoned me. Left me for dead. Didn't call or anything. Do you know how drunk I got? I've never cried as much as I did because I thought you were fuckin gone. Gone! And you're not! And I didn't even know you were safe. You could've been dead in the middle of Chicago and I wouldn't have known!"
"You fucking called me! You knew I was alive!"
"Essie, I don't even remember these past three weeks!"
"Are we really gonna scream at each like this?" I said. He sighed and sat back in the chair.
"I got three broken ribs and a concussion from the accident. And I don't even know what you got," he said.
"I don't know. I never went to the hospital," I said. He put his head in his hands. It was quiet for minutes.
"I think you should go to the hospital, sweetie. Especially with your heart," he said.
"No. I'm not going out there and letting them feel me up and feel my chest and try to figure out what the fuck's going on. I've been fine for weeks now and-"
"Do you have chest pain?" He asked.
"It doesn't matter."
"Essie-"
"I always have chest pain, Matt. What's the difference?"
"Essie, go to the hospital."
"No," I said.
"You're so goddamn stubborn. How did I ever think of marrying you?"
"I don't know. Ask yourself that," I said.
"Maybe I should just go back home. See Susie and finish the fucking movie. Drop the wedding," he said, standing up.
"Don't drop the wedding-"
"Don't talk to me," he said before leaving.