When We Write the Stars

Chapter 14: Hayden

"' Nice Boys don't kiss like that.' 'Oh yes they fucking do'" – Bridget Jones Diary

     I stood in my room for too long. Trying to process what the hell had just happened, by the time it so much as crossed my mind to follow her out, to try and have a conversation, she was gone. There was no way in hell I was going to try to do this over text, partially because texting sucked and partially because I didn't want to seem desperate. But we needed to talk about it, unfortunately, it looked like that talk wouldn't happen until class on Tuesday. God that was a long time from now.

     I kept replaying it in my head, the kiss. I have no idea what came over me, why for a split second it seemed like a good idea to just kiss her. Then she couldn't insult me and my favorite movie anymore, I hadn't meant for it to turn into whatever the hell that was, but she seemed into it.

     She wouldn't have kissed me back if she wasn't into it, right? This was why I didn't date or ever let myself get attached. We had a game in two days, and here I was lying awake at two in the morning, thinking about a girl when I should be asleep or at least thinking about hockey.

     It was probably just a one-time thing, it needed to be just a one-time thing. She wouldn't want to date me, right? I mean we hated each other and argued constantly. We'd literally been in an argument when I'd kissed her, there was absolutely no way she'd be into me. And even if she was, I wasn't into her right? And it wasn't like we wanted to date each other. I needed to focus on hockey, dating someone would be the biggest possible distraction.

     "You look like hell," Gibbs said the next day during practice, I hadn't seen him since last night when he'd interrupted whatever was happening. I was both grateful and pissed off that he'd interrupted, because who knows what could've happened had he left things alone, but also who knows what could've happened.

     "Feel like it too," I say, stretching my arms up over my head, hoping it'll help wake me up, "Slept like shit last night."

     "You sure that's it," he asks giving me a look that tells me he knows everything.

     "The hell," I ask confused.

     "Thin walls," he responds with a shrug, "Plus Cassie looked like she'd seen a ghost running out with some excuse about needing to leave."

     "Coleman and Payne," I ask.

     "Oblivious. Gaming."

     "Thank God, they'd give me way too much shit, you'll keep this between us?"

     He nods, then skates away before Coach can get upset with us for chatting too much during warm-ups. Gibbs and I might not spend as much time together as Coleman and I, but we've always just kind of got each other. It's like we don't need to say much to know what the other means, and he's one of the easiest people to be around. I know for a fact he'll keep what he knows to himself. It wouldn't surprise me if he knew a secret or two from every guy here, he was just the kind of dude you knew you could trust.

     I'll tell the others eventually, they're like brothers to me, but I don't want to talk about it and make it a whole thing until I've had some sort of conversation with Cassie. I need to know if we're pretending it never happened, talking about it, or repeating it. Personally, I'm hoping for a repeat, it'd been a while since I'd kissed anyone, and that girl knew how to use her tongue.

     I was a mess all of practice though, messing up drills that should've been easy, and while it could've just been an off day, it was probably because of how much I was thinking about last night. I couldn't have off days. Not right now, not when we had our first home game of the season tomorrow. All eyes were on me, and if I could finally lead this team to a championship, one kiss and I was already off my game.