When We Write the Stars

Chapter 24: Hayden

 "So it's not gonna be easy. It's gonna be really hard. We're gonna have to work at this every day, but I want to do that because I want you. I want all of you, forever, you and me, every day." – The Notebook

     "No," Cassie calls out, on the verge of tears, I hate seeing her cry, I don't want to make her cry anymore, "You don't get to just say that and have everything be okay."

     "Look," I say, holding both my hands out as if I'm trying to calm down an angry dog, "Nothing happened between me and Sabrina. I spent half the night looking for you, then when I stopped for it bit to breathe, she came up and started talking to me."

     It was true, I'd spent what felt like half the night trying to find her after she didn't respond to my texts. I almost thought she didn't show, but then I ran into Adrianna and Coleman playing beer pong and knew Cassie had to be somewhere nearby, but neither of them had seen her since they'd gotten here. I kept trying to think of where Cassie might be at a party, but nowhere I could think of she seemed to be. I even contemplated looking for her on the dance floor, but I didn't think she'd spend the whole night dancing, and I was worried some girl would start dancing with me, and then Cassie would find me in a compromising position. Which she did anyway.

     After walking around inside for what felt like forever, I'd stepped out onto the porch to get some air, and I'd been approached by Sabrina Odell. She was a junior on the girls' hockey team and appeared to have had a little too much to drink. I knew her girlfriend, Carly the captain of the girls' soccer team (talk about a power couple) was at the party and texted her. I was waiting with Sabrina until Carly came back, she'd apparently left to find the bathroom a while ago, and Sabrina kept trying to wander off, as drunk girls often do. I'd put a hand on her shoulder to try and keep her from wandering off and potentially running into someone with intentions worse than mine.

     The second I looked up and saw Cassie standing there, I realized how bad it must look. Me and some girl standing that close to each other, right before midnight. Cassie definitely wouldn't know Sabrina, or that she had a girlfriend. She'd rightfully assume the worst, which is why I told Sabrina not to move, and that Carly would be there soon. I could see Carly making her way down the stairs from my position on the porch. I then jumped off the porch and immediately started chasing Cassie down. This was not at all how tonight was supposed to go.

     I'd had it all planned out, I was going to find Cassie and spend the night having fun with her, getting her comfortable with the idea of us hanging out again. Then right before midnight, I was going to ask/convince her to be my girlfriend, then we could kiss right into the new year. That seemed like the sort of cheesy romantic shit from one of the rom-coms we'd watch that she'd love. Instead, the night had been one disaster after another, and I was determined to fix it. Which I did not do by just blurting out that I thought I was falling in love with her. Seriously, I needed to limit myself more, I'd had maybe three drinks tonight and I was confessing my feelings, and I wasn't even doing it in the cute romantic way I'd intended to.

     "If I hadn't shown up. If you hadn't seen me," she asks her voice shaky, "would you have kissed her?"

     It takes everything in me not to laugh, "No," I say. She gives me a look, and I explain further, "I'm pretty sure her girlfriend would kick my ass if I so much as tried. Besides, there was only one girl at the party I wanted to kiss, and I couldn't find her."

     "Girlfriend," she asks looking extremely embarrassed."

     "Sabrina's on the girls' hockey team, her girlfriend Carly is the captain of the soccer team. It's okay though, you had no idea, and I know it looked pretty bad."

     "I. I thought," her eyes start to water again. I should've remembered that Cassie's a crier when she drinks, I'll never forget when she cried about her ex to me earlier in the year after drinking a little too much.