Finding Heathcliff

Forty-One

They walked towards the stream in silence, Azrael getting lost in Astrid's thoughts. She had too many questions ready for him, but he would answer them all gladly, and honestly, when she would decide to ask them.

"I like your light, Azrael," she said as she stumbled down the rocky path next to him, her arm wrapped around his, her breath catching with fear each time her eyes strolled away from the bluish orb hovering in front of them, into the surrounding darkness.

"This place is quite safe. We're still far enough from Oblivis; you don't need to be afraid, Lady," he tried to reassure her, understanding her human fear of the invisible.

"Is Oblivis dangerous?" she asked, and he saw her eyebrows draw together into a frown.

"It's not too late to take you back home," he offered, smiling in anticipation of her refusal.

"No. I need to meet Michael," she said, forcing herself to speak louder as they approached the noisy stream. The part of the pit close to the water had the most incredible scent, of rocks under the rain, of the fresh air the current carried, and even of the sea that couldn't be far. "What else can you do?" she asked, her eyes intent on the magical light.

"I can read your thoughts," he said, smiling as she rolled her eyes. "I can summon fire..."

"Me too," she gasped, stumbling again, not protesting when he pulled her closer. He could feel her trembling with fear or cold. "I mean, I sometimes set things on fire when I'm angry."

"I know. You need to learn to control your powers, to shield your thoughts, to read mine and anybody else's."

She nodded. "I want to."

They reached the stream and while Azrael sent the blue orb above a place where the fast running water seemed calmer and shallower, Astrid kicked her shoes off and pushed a tentative toe in the black, moving liquid. She shivered; it was freezing.

Suppressing a chuckle, Azrael asked, "Shall we go back?"

"Not before I bathe," she said bravely. "Can you..."

"I'll wait for you there," he replied before she could finish her line, pointing to a boulder taller than him, which sat on the shore. He dropped her clean clothes and towels on a flat rock at the water's edge, then disappeared into the darkness.

Azrael turned his back to the girl and the stream as he leaned against the cold rock, but he wasn't strong enough to block her thoughts, the flashes of the freezing water lapping at her thighs, her smooth skin erupting in gooseflesh, and sighed with relief when she stopped thinking and jumped into the water, emerging a few minutes later, shaking with cold, feeling reinvigorated but sad. Dealing with the demon's death would take her a long time.

"I'm ready, Azrael," she called soon enough, unable to see him in the dark.

"You are freezing," he muttered, rushing towards her, wrapping his cloak around her shoulders. "Let's take you to the fire."

She nodded, smiling thankfully as he took the bundle of used clothes from her, feeling inappropriately happy in his presence.

Astrid sighed, even as Azrael said, puzzled by her thoughts, "I was afraid you would hate me now, Lady."

She replied after a long while, slowing their steps directed towards the distant glow of the fire, "I feel like I should... but I can't..."

He stopped and looked down at her, his seafoam eyes morphed into dark aquamarine in the blue light that surrounded them drawing her in as never before, making her wish he would kiss her, and she could feel that he would oblige...

The silvery moonlight emanating from him filled her vision as he leaned closer, making her recall that she knew nothing about this man, angel, who ever he was, and however attractive and inevitable she found him, this was wrong. Orion was dead, wiped away from her world, her future, by his hand.

"Why are you glowing, Azrael?" she muttered, listening to his deep intake of breath as he turned away from her.

It took him a few moments to collect himself, he replied as they neared the fire-- Astrid could see Ramiel and Rigel sitting huddled together, deep in conversation.

"The light means that I earned my wings back, Lady," he said with the same sort of raw honesty she had noticed in his voice when he had told her that he had killed Orion.

She had accepted it then, somehow, but this time, this information seemed to be the last drop, a drop that had her eyes welling up with tears she could not contain. He was an angel again then, he would return to Heaven, a place where she could not follow. Astrid had already lost Orion, his demise leaving a deep crack in her heart, her heart which could not bear another loss without breaking. And she couldn't afford a broken heart, not now, there were too many things she had to do, too many things to set right in her kingdom... Had someone spoken about war? Suddenly, she recalled a few incomplete sentences from the days when she had been unconscious. And... something was wrong in Vega... She shook her head to free it of all the unhelpful, confusing thoughts before she spoke to him again.

"I... I'm happy for you, Azrael, "she said, disentangling her arm from his, dabbing at her tears with her sleeve.

Astrid took a step away from him, forcing her learned manners to replace her spontaneity, letting them drop between her and Azrael like an invisible curtain.

He nodded, her thoughts piercing his heart, causing him an almost physical pain. But he didn't try to approach her as they continued on their way towards the fire, respecting the distance she created between them.

He let her walk on alone towards Rigel and Ramiel, observing her shoulders tremble with the deep breaths she was taking in an attempt to fight her tears. He dropped her clothes inside her tent then lingered in the darkness, giving her time to compose herself, and only approached the group when he saw her sit down at Rigel's side, and accept a plate full of food from the boy with a forced smile.

Azrael could read in her mind how repulsed she felt by the food as he sat across the fire from her. Grief she would heal from eventually consumed her like an illness, she wished to go back to sleep, to lose herself in the blessed oblivion of the past days, where nothing of what had happened could hurt her. But she would eat; he knew it before she picked up a piece of bread off the plate because they would worry about her if she didn't.

Azrael sighed; the girl never cared about herself in the first place. She was a true queen...

"...Azrael?" Ramiel's voice pulled him out of his reverie. Time had passed because the girl's plate was now empty, and just like the two men, she was looking at him expectantly, as if she had asked him something before Ramiel spoke.

Goodness man, you broke the queenie's heart, but you don't look much better yourself...

Pushing Ramiel's thought away, Azrael spoke to Astrid, "Excuse me, Lady?"

"I said that I was tired and wanted to know how do we share the tents?"

"Yours is the one closer to the fire. You'll find all of your things inside. Rigel and Ramiel share the other one."

What about you...? Azrael saw the thought form in her mind as she stood up and said goodnight to all of them, but she forced herself to push it away, not expecting his answer.

"Where will you sleep tonight?" Ramiel voiced the girl's question after a while when Astrid settled for the night within the tent, and he and Rigel were ready to follow her example.

"I won't sleep tonight, I need to think," Azrael said dismissively, his eyes intent on the dying flames. And don't you and Rigel talk about me sleeping in that tent with her the last three nights, she has too many things on her mind as it is.

"You and the queenie are such a torture for each other. You are destroying your lives," Ramiel muttered, following Rigel towards their tent.

Azrael didn't reply. He sat by the fire, allowing his thoughts to rush in his mind, spin in circles without reason, offering no solution. Then, when the darkness became diluted with the faintest grey light emanating from the bottom of the pit, hinting at the approaching new dawn in Oblivis, he moved closer to the girl's tent.