Finding Heathcliff

Sixty-One

Polaris pushed Astrid gently back among the pillows, placing a concerned hand lightly on her wound.

"It's almost healed," Azrael assured her. "She is a fast healer, thanks to the angel magic passed on her from her parents."

Polaris nodded, smiling at him, then took Astrid's hand in hers again as she looked into her eyes and started to talk.

"I met Michael when I was only a year older than you are now," Polaris said, her bright eyes clouding with memories, her free hand reaching towards Michael, who grabbed it in his instantly. "He lost his wings for me. Eurovea was ruled by Arcturus' older brother Sirius then, who persecuted humans of angel origin just as fiercely as Arcturus. Those weren't easy times, but despite everything, Michael and I lived happily together for almost a year."

Polaris' eyes focused on Astrid who sat motionless, staring at her, then she turned to Michael as she continued, "There used to be moments when he had to leave me behind to help other fallen angels to save those who were accused of witchcraft by the king's men. It was on one of those occasions that the guard appeared at my doorstep and took me. I was a couple of months pregnant; you can't imagine how frightened I was." Her voice morphed into a trembling whisper. "But I was lucky. The king's men caught almost twenty women that time and they did not notice immediately, none apart from the youngest guard who said nothing, when I hid in the shallows after they let us rest by the river during the journey.

"I watched the guards march the women across the Starfall Forest in the direction of Starling, away from me, and a few days later, I followed them, too. There was no way I could return home-- if they noticed that I was missing, they would look for me there and punish my family for hiding me. Queen Venus' goodness and compassion were well known throughout the kingdom, and she was rumoured to be pregnant, too... It took all my courage, but I decided to seek shelter where they would never expect to find me-- in the castle."

Polaris paused, and Astrid squeezed her hand. She was sorry for making her relive these memories, but she wanted to know everything.

Polaris smiled at her as she continued, "I pretended to seek employment and was assumed as a scullery maid. Soon, I managed to get noticed by the queen, and she liked me enough to take me as her personal maid, lifting me to Arabella's position. I don't know how and why she was chosen to marry Sirius. Her angel side was as strong as his demon part. Venus must have been the closest female descendant of the monarchy, and the country needed a queen because of the centuries old tradition..." Polaris shrugged. "However, she hid me from everybody's sight as my pregnancy progressed, and only she and Arabella knew that you were born. I was worried more than before then. It wouldn't have been easy to hide you while you were growing up, I was certain that your angel side would be very strong and apparent. And even as I was beginning to despair, the queen's own baby died during the birth less that a week after you were born. The queen, scared of how her brother-in-law, who had assumed the place of the regent after her husband's recent death, would take those news, or maybe because she didn't want to leave the throne to him, begged me to let her take you as her own... and in that moment, it seemed to be the best solution for both of us. She changed your name to Astrid," Polaris smiled, despite the sadness Astrid could see lurking in her eyes.

"It didn't feel like a good decision anymore when she died a few months later, and we, both Arabella and I, became Arcturus' propriety. As Arabella was officially your nurse, there was no reason for Arcturus to keep me around unless I offered him a service he would be interested in. I risked everything again when I revealed myself as a human of angel descent, a witch, and got lucky one more time when he decided to keep me. At first, it was out of curiosity, an... infatuation almost, which I never acknowledged nor encouraged, and then he became dependent on my magic, my glimpses of the past and the future which I allowed him to see, as long as he kept me at the court where I could watch over you, see you growing up, even though just from a distance."

Astrid thought that the story was over and reached out to Azrael, feeling better as he quitted his chair and knelt on the floor at her side, so near that his scent of burning incense, which somehow lingered around him even after he was given his wings back, enveloped her. She needed his closeness as much as she needed time to process... her mother's... incredible story.

However, Polaris continued after only a short pause. "I don't know when Arcturus started to suspect something, but I was certain that he knew when he came up with the idea of sending you to find the fallen angels as your trial. He had kept you sheltered and uninformed, under the influence of that demon he had chosen as your fiancé your entire life... It was the most dangerous task he could have chosen, and I could do nothing to persuade him to change his mind. My only hope was that you'd find Michael somewhere out there, and he would remember and understand."

Astrid nodded; this was the end of the long and sad story. There were many things she wanted to ask, and many gaps in her knowledge about the past events still left to be filled, but those could wait. The immediate future was more important.

"What will happen now?" she asked of no one in particular.

"I give you my permission to marry him, Angelisa," Michael said, replying to the love-filled look that Astrid and Azrael exchanged.

"And you'll have to be crowned," Polaris added.

"She's too young, and she's been through so much," Azrael said, his eyes flickering between Polaris and Michael. "Why don't you give her a year to travel and see the world, to grow up into the responsibilities you expect her to bear for..." He almost said 'the rest of her life', a thing too close to the subject of human mortality he didn't want Astrid to bring up now. "Just let her enjoy one year of careless life. Please."

Astrid pulled him down and kissed him, ignoring Polaris' bemused smile as well as Michael's frown.

"He is right. I don't want to be crowned now, but not because I'm afraid of the responsibilities. It simply wouldn't be correct. I'm not Arcturus' niece. Let the word spread about what happened here, send people across the country in search of a descendant of the royal family who might be willing and capable of ruling Eurovea. If they find someone, we'll leave it up to the people to decide who they want as their new monarch. Should they choose me, I'll be crowned. And then I'll marry you, Azrael, if you'll want me to. I don't want to get married right now." Astrid shuddered. "I'm sorry, Father, Azrael," she said, looking between them. "That idea has always been pushed on me; it has never been a choice, and it reminds me too much of Uncle Arcturus." And Orion, she thought. "But I want to be your girlfriend," she said, smiling at Azrael, tasting the word as it rolled off her tongue, "and I want to see the world with you."

A knock on the door put a full stop to that subject and once Arabella entered, the serious talk slipped fast into a light conversation filled with the womens' giggles, embraces and the men's laughter, which lasted until the daylight gradually vanished from the room. Then Polaris, with Arabella's help, banished the two angels from Astrid's chambers when they deemed it was time for her to bathe before dinner, and finally take off the black fallen angel gown that she had been wearing for weeks.