Finding Heathcliff

Forty-Seven

Astrid would never know how long it took them to reach the White Tower from the lake-- neither the sun nor the moon marked the passage of time in Oblivis, the pearlescent ligh of the day would morph into the silvery semi-darkness of the night making the place look only slightly darker, and it was easy to miss that transition-- if it wasn't for Azrael who never stopped trying to keep her from drowning in her sadness and grief, reminding her that they were approaching their destination, that they were nearly there, often enough to keep a spark of hope alive within her heart.

Oblivis was taking a toll on her. Having seen the two undead creatures who had been human like her before dying in front of her very eyes had been an awful experience. Astrid had never considered death as something entirely real. She had never seen it; it only lived in her books, and in the words of people like her tutors and Arabella. But now Orion was dead, and she had seen those creatures dying even as she had watched, and the fallen angels had killed at least a couple of men since Astrid reached the pit, and that meant war, which meant more pointless deaths...

There were moments in those long days which they spent in Oblivis, when she wished she wasn't the future Queen of Eurovea. She didn't want to bear any responsibility of human lives. Maybe she could just vanish somewhere after she delivered the letter to Michael, hide and spend her life hoping that Azrael would find a way to return to her, sooner or later. But if she left the kingdom in Uncle Arcturus' hands it would be so much worse, her uncle had been hoping to stir up a new war when he had sent her in search of the fallen angels, she had gathered as much... No, she would have to return to Starling and the castle and shoulder her responsibilities, try to eschew the war, or at least avoid great losses on both sides. How could she even let her army wage a war against the fallen angels when Azrael was one of them, when they were his friends?

Azrael could feel her grief and despair growing, slipping from his influence, not even his presence could console her entirely anymore as they took a longer route to the tower than they had planned, in an attempt to confuse and shake off the undead following them. She could only forget about her grief when he kept her in his arms as she slept, no more than a couple of hours at a time as they couldn't afford longer breaks because the undead would reach them otherwise; and even then she would talk from her sleep about war and death.

He was happy when they finally reached the White Tower a few days later, even though it meant that they were at the end of their journey and he would lose her now. But she would forget about him eventually and find her happiness... and if not, if by any miracle she could not move on without him, then he would fall again, and if he survived, they would live like Jophiel and Stella... Hopefully, such life would be enough for this girl who deserved so much more.

Shaking his head to clear it of those thoughts he smiled at her, observing her awed face as she looked at the tower standing on top of one of the rocky outcrops, an elegant white pillar many storeys high, its smooth walls shimmering with magic in the silvery grey light of the approaching night.

He cupped her face and kissed her deeply, not sure that he would have another chance to be alone with her once they entered, surprised just as he had been the first time they kissed when her arms wrapped around him in response to his kiss, her body leaned into him, determined never to let go. No one had ever loved Azrael like she did, so unconditionally, and from what he had read in her mind, he knew that she had never felt about anyone like she was feeling about him. He would give anything to be able to keep them together... but anything wasn't enough in their case.

"Let's go," he murmured unhappily, taking her hand in his and leading her up a winding rocky path finishing by a gate set in the wall that surrounded the tower.

After the many days of little sleep, she was too tired to climb the steep hill, her legs refused to carry her, and she had to lean into Azrael.

"Let me carry you," he proposed, lifting her up before she could protest.

"No, please. I need to... " Astrid frowned, not remembering what she needed to do here, in this heavenly, magical place where she did not belong. However, she didn't think it would be wise to show to those who lived here how weak she was.

"You need to speak to Michael," Azrael reminded her, his lips whispering against her temple as she leaned her head on his shoulder, elation caused by his closeness making her forget that she was supposed to walk without his help. "But first, we all need to rest."

Astrid nodded, his promise of being able to finally sleep properly, making her feel even more tired. She let him carry her up the hill, through the gate's archway and a narrow courtyard, down long corridors shimmering with magical, iridescent light, and up staircases filled with moving shadows and murmuring voices as soft as a flutter of wings following them around.

"You can leave the girl in my room, Azrael," Evangeline separated herself front the mass of murmuring shadows lining the walls. "I'll look after her for you."

"Has Michael arrived?" Azrael asked, lowering his voice into a whisper when he noticed that Astrid had fallen asleep.

"Not yet, but he had received my message. He should be here sometime tomorrow," she replied, rushing at Azrael's side up another narrow staircase, Ramiel and Rigel in tow.

"I said you can leave her with me..." she repeated, frowning slightly as they entered another corridor and passed the door beyond which Ramiel and Rigel had vanished, leaving them alone, then another, in front of which Evangeline stopped.

"Thank you, Eva," Azrael said, stopping for a moment and turning around to smile at her. "But I'll look after her myself. We have so little time..."

Evangeline shook her head. "Just why do you do this to yourself when... I have always... Whatever. Michael won't like this, though. She is Arcturus' heir. A halfling, the future demon queen, our enemy..."

"I don't care, Eva, and I don't want you to worry about me. I'm ready to pay the consequences for my actions and feelings," he said, opening the door of his own room and carrying Astrid inside before Evangeline could say anything else.

He knew that Astrid would need to see him, and not Eva when she woke up, before she would meet Michael, and he, too, needed these last hours with her before facing the archangel.

He laid her gently on his bed, realising only now how many years had passed since he had visited this place, and wrapped his arms around her as always. No one would take her away from him until they would be summoned to speak to Michael.