Chapter 10: the dream

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It's 11:30 and me and Nick are curled up on the sofa watching a movie and he's falling asleep on my shoulder.

He's so sweet when he sleeps... he has like a permanent smile on his face

I look down at him and and lean onto his head, adjusting his arm around my waist.

I continue watching the film for a bit but before the credits roll I find myself drifting off into sleep...

Nick: WHY ARE YOU ALWAYS LIKE THIS Y/N

Y/N: what...

Nick: ALL YOU EVER F**CKING DO IS MESS THINGS UP FOR ME

Y/N: Nick why are you saying this...

Nick: BECAUSE FOR SOME REASON YOU STUPID LITTLE BRAIN CAN'T COMPREHEND THE FACT THAT I DONT WANT YOU HERE ALL THE TIME

Y/N: nick I didn't know-

Nick: WOULD IT KILL YOU TO SLEEP ON YOUR OWN FOR ONE SINGLE NIGHT

Y/N: Im sorry I-

Nick: AND DONT EVEN GET ME STARTED ON YOUR

he does air quotes and in a mocking voice says

Nick 'self esteem issues'

Nick: I get it. You're fat. Get over it or lose the weight don't just complain about it

Tears start to roll down my cheeks and I feel myself collapse onto the floor

Y/N: nick... I'm sorry

Nick: it wouldn't be so hard to date you if you could just get a freaking grip y/n

He looks like he's building up to another rant so I shut my eyes tight to stop the tears from cascading down my cheeks

I hear nicks voice but it's not yelling, it sounds quiet, almost distant

Nick: y/n... y/n?

All of a sudden I'm being gently shaken

Nick: y/n wake up love...

My eyes snap open, it takes me a second to figure out where I am and what I'm doing but while I'm taking in my surroundings I also become aware of the tears that are sitting on my cheeks

Nick: you were moving around a lot in your sleep... then you sort of started crying... and talking?

I look at him, fresh tears welling in my eyes

Y/N: it was just a dream... me and you we were... fighting

Nick: about what my love

Y/N: you were saying I was hard to date and my self esteem issues were annoying and you didn't want me around...

Nick looks at me like he's hurt, not angry but hurt that I could ever imagine a reality where he'd say such things

Nick: y/n darling... I would never

Y/N: I know nick... I know

He holds me close in his arms and traces little circles on my arms

Nick: I love you

Y/N: I love you too Nelson

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