Bucky's

Chapter 26: Shopping

"Ronny, why are you so angry?" Ronny didn't answer Tanya and pounded away at his keyboard, smashing the keys harder than necessary. "Ronny, talk to me. Please."

He kept his lips stubbornly sealed. The whole day so far had been stressful and infuriating beyond reasonable means. First, Tanya had been snatched out of his hands by his hated rival Martin, who slammed him against the wall hard enough to knock him out. Bucky had showed up with the CEO and questioned him. Tanya had learned of Candy's existence and would soon interact with her, and Candy would blab all about what an ass he was. And now Tanya had acted like an infatuated schoolgirl around his pathetic weakling of a boss, of all people.

Ronny was so jealous and angry, he wanted to throw a tantrum and pummel something with his fists. He figured if he spoke he'd lose his temper, and say nasty, hurtful things to Tanya that he would regret. She had done nothing wrong, after all. She didn't deserve his wrath. Blowing up at her would only push her away from him more. So he stayed silent and occupied himself with his job, ignoring her. Deep down, he was afraid—afraid she would be poisoned against him and he'd lose her forever, just like his ex. He couldn't take more heartache.

Even as he thought these things, he knew he was being unreasonable and selfish. Tanya didn't belong to him. She wasn't his prisoner and could leave at any time. She wasn't in love with him like he was in love with her, and it wasn't fair for him to assume otherwise or resent her for it. Ronny finally had to admit to himself that he had very strong feelings for her. He felt like a fool, allowing himself to be so vulnerable. He should have kept himself on a tight leash, kept his heart in check. He had known, if he let himself fall in love again, he'd only get hurt in the end. And here he was, making the same stupid mistakes again. He only had himself to blame. He felt like crying, but he held it all in and remained outwardly stoic.

Tanya lapsed into silence and watched Ronny's facial expressions closely. She could tell he was suffering and struggling with himself, though she didn't understand the full extent of what was going on inside his head. Obviously, he didn't want to talk, but Tanya realized he still had a need to be comforted. She did the only thing she could think of and placed her hand on top of one of Ronny's gigantic hands as he typed. She rubbed the skin gently, hoping to ameliorate his distress. Ronny stopped typing. Tanya sprawled against his hand and wrapped her arms around it as best she could in a hug.

Ronny's heart melted at the gesture of affection and the corners of his mouth twitched with powerful emotion. Tanya was so sweet and caring. A bitter, jaded man like him really didn't deserve someone as wonderful as her. He rotated his hand and manuevered Tanya into his palm. Leaning back in his chair, he held her against him. He felt all his woes and anger drain away. He was scared of what might happen, but in the present he still had Tanya on his side, even if the rest of the world hated him. He exhaled heavily.

"I'm sorry," he finally choked out. "I'm not the best at talking." Tanya knew words weren't necessary in the moment, and snuggled up closer to him. The tension left his body. He realized she understood his raw emotions, in some capacity, even if she didn't know why he was so strained. He allowed himself the luxury of feeling affection and love, and he felt much better. Those feelings, in this context, couldn't possibly be wrong.

With a contented sigh, he dropped Tanya into his warm lap and continued to type for a while. She buried herself in his shirt and listened to his deep breathing. With all the events of the day, Ronny had skipped his lunch break, so he began to feel peckish. He didn't want to leave his cubicle, but he had prepared for such a contingency in the morning and packed a simple lunch that didn't need to be heated up, just a sandwich and some snacks. He dug into his lunch and fed Tanya miniscule crumbs of his food, which she happily accepted.

He dreaded the end of the day as it approached. He avoided interacting with Martin and Candy in the office as much as possible, but now he had no choice but to hang out with them after work. He felt trapped. He was tempted to make up some sort of excuse to get out of it, yet he recognized how important it was for Tanya to have the basic things she required to be happy and comfortable living with him. Plus, she desperately needed clothes that weren't so revealing. He thought about Mr. Griffin and scowled. She would have to cover up. He couldn't have another man stealing her away.