Bucky's

Chapter 27: Confession

Tanya continued to give Ronny the silent treatment, all the way to his apartment. She wasn't doing it out of bitterness or to spite him, but rather because she was close to tears. If she spoke, she knew she would break and start crying, and she didn't want that. From her perspective, Ronny had been very mean to her. She wanted to impress him and look attractive in front of him, and he had responded by calling her a slut. Really, the insult in a vacuum would not have upset her as much as it did, if not for his behavior throughout the day. He had been so grumpy and snappy all day. She just wanted to please him and make him happy, but now he felt like a stranger to her, and a scary one with a temper at that. She didn't comprehend why he was acting in such a manner. She had tried her hardest to be understanding and loving despite his behavior, so Ronny's callous remark in response had stabbed her to the heart.

For his part, Ronny felt terrible. He hadn't intended to hurt her feelings. He realized his insecurities were getting in the way, but he found it difficult to let go. He knew Tanya wasn't just some cheap slut. She was special, and he had completely blown his chance with her. She had treated him with such kindness and understanding, and he reciprocated by lashing out with insults. He tried to talk to her, but she wouldn't respond. She just huddled her shoulders and turned away from him, looking small and weak in the palm of his hand. Her frailty and sadness tore him up inside.

Ronny made it to his apartment and busied himself with cooking dinner. He placed Tanya down on the kitchen counter, not knowing what else to do with her. Obviously, she needed some space, but at the same time he wanted to keep her close. She couldn't leave the countertop on her own, so she went behind the toaster where Ronny couldn't see her and sat down against it, hugging her knees. The tears she had been straining to hold back started to flow. She felt so helpless, with no control over her fate. She had naively believed things were looking up for her, when she escaped Bucky's, but now she felt just as trapped. She had nowhere else to go if things didn't work out with Ronny. She couldn't go to the human side and see her family and friends. She had feelings for Ronny, but he was showing himself to be increasingly judgmental, controlling, and wrathful. He frightened her, with what he could be capable of at his gargantuan size if angered. She didn't understand him, and she was afraid that perhaps he wasn't the man she thought he was. She felt isolated and alone.

Ronny let her go off on her own and occupied himself with food prep. He hoped that maybe doing nice things for Tanya would make her feel better and warm her up to him again. He thought about what he ought to say to her. He hadn't apologized for his insensitive remark or his crabby behavior. Perhaps he should. Ronny cleared his throat.

"Um, Tanya... you there?" Of course, he knew where she was, but he didn't have a visual bead on her. She didn't answer. "Tanya? Dinner's ready." He heard faint sniffling. Ronny lifted up the toaster, much to Tanya's alarm. She cowered away from him in a little ball, hiding her face. Ronny felt a sharp pang in his chest.

"Are you... crying?" He enveloped her in his huge hands and raised her up to eye level. "Oh, Tanya... I'm so sorry... please don't cry..." He exhaled a heavy breath. "I'm so stupid. I should have apologized earlier. I'm horrible." Tanya whimpered but didn't answer him.

"Look. I should not have said what I did. You're not a slut. You're a beautiful young woman and I just get nervous that you'll catch the eye of another... man..." Ronny bit his lips as he uttered those words. He realized, then and there, how unreasonably possessive he was being. Tanya didn't belong to him. They weren't dating. He hadn't even verbally confessed his feelings for her. For all he knew, she might not even be interested in him. He was the one who stole her, without giving her a choice. He had no right to say that to her. He swallowed, suddenly at a loss for words.

Tanya finally met his gaze and spoke. "It's not just that, Ronny. You're so closed off from me. I know nothing about you. And the way you've been acting scares me. Domineering, taciturn, temperamental... you're like a different man at work. And the way you interact with your coworkers! They treat you like some kind of monster that will hurt me! Why? What is it that you're not telling me? What are you hiding from me? What is this other side of you? Should I be scared of you?"