𝘿𝙖𝙨𝙝𝙚𝙙 || 𝙅𝙞𝙨𝙪𝙣𝙜

Chapter 15: The side-effects of trapped emotions

For Jisung, sitting on a roof, while looking at the canvas sky full of stars was everything. Weather wasn't as cold, as he predicted it'd be, instead chilly, a little windy- was more than enough. There were always two comfort places, Jisung found himself at.

One of them was his apartment and the other one - the empty racing area. Especially the roof, when he could spot the stars. After eating the meal he brought with him, he sat peacefully, until someone decided to show up.

Jisung wondered how is it possible for two people to meet in the same time, at the same place and it already happened more than once.

He observed how Yuxi neared the same fence, that he helped her get through last time. She climbed up to jump from the top on all fours. Then, she sat down, leaning her back on the fence, while closing her eyes.

Jisung watched the girl for a couple of seconds more, before speaking up.

"Great to meet you again."

The girl turned her head quickly to spot a sitting Jisung on the roof.

"Park."

He chuckled, getting down, soon then, making his way to her side. 

"You escaped me. Why?"

It took a couple of seconds to answer her. She thought, if she should be completely honest with him.

"It felt weird, waking up next to you."

"Oh, did you get embarrassed?"
He tried teasing the girl, beside him.

"Maybe."
She looked away from his eyes, not wanting him to see her blushed face.

"I would make breakfast for the two of us. You could stay."

"Exactly- this is why, I didn't stay."
She snapped suddenly.

"I don't do sleepovers or breakfasts, Jisung. I can't let myself have that."

"But, why?"
He asked carefully, furrowing his brows.

"Because, I'm not the right person to do that!"

Silence filled the air, however, the tension didn't disappear.

"I want to get to know you better."

"You shouldn't. I have many secrets."

"It doesn't stop me, you know. I want to be your friend."

Yuxi felt how her eyes watered instantly. She wanted deep down to stay at his apartment that day. She wanted to be his friend, know him better, nevertheless she shouldn't. The truth would pain both him and her, in the end.

"Maybe, I don't need friends?!"
She stood up abruptly, climbing over the fence.

"Wait!"
Jisung climbed after her, sprinting, as she quickened her pace.

"Just give me a chance, please!"

"No!"
She turned around, making him stop in his tracks.

"Forget about our relation. It'd be better, if you could act like you don't know me. Then, you wouldn't get hurt."

Her voice cracked at these last words and she wanted  to vanish from the Earth, as quickly as possible.

Hearing that something bothered her inside, Jisung sped up to her, trapping her smaller body in his arms, from behind.

Feeling the instant touch, Yuxi shrugged off his arms, with the visible tears in her eyes.

"Leave me alone, Jisung."
She whispered, then escaped further, into the unknown. She didn't stop running in case, he would chase her.

After a good while, she collapsed onto the ground, placing her face in her palms. Weeping softly, in the middle of nowhere, Yuxi felt, that she couldn't get more miserable than that.

She would agree to anything, he offered her, but she'd feel even more horrible, knowing, that she was simply using him- from the start.

•

After Yuxi escaped his arms, Jisung stood there blankly. She was gone and he fucked up. He could talk to her much softly or just sit there, without saying a word. Her cracking voice reminded him of himself, when he was stuck at the orphanage. He was as helpless, as she was now. He could have run after her, however, he didn't.
He left her alone, just as she wished.

Tears began to fall down his cheeks. Jisung didn't bother to wipe them- instead, he let them run down his neck.

With Eunji, he didn't feel such strong emotions like he did with Yuxi. He didn't want to invite Eunji home, for her to touch him and do, God knows what.

However- with Yuxi, he could accept everything. That's why, he nodded his head, when Hyesun told him he was in love. He was aware of these feelings, now. Suppressing the need to tell her everything, he chose to ask her about her life, instead. As Hyesun recommended, he should know, who she is. That didn't work as planned.

For now, despair filling his heart, almost made him give up. Nonetheless, he thought about all the times they met and determination filled his body anew.

Jisung clenched his fists, making his way back to his apartment. He wouldn't let Yuxi go, that easily. He'd fight for her, not even thinking about giving up.
Not her.