Our Life

I Love You. Part One

Our next date marked July 25th. I arrive at her house to pick her up. I step out of the car as she walked up towards me and we meet each other's gaze, all I could do was just stand there and admire in her everlasting beauty. "What?" Were the first words from her as she raised a smile. I wanted to tell her right then and there, to lay out all of my feelings. I laughed "nothing, you look absolutely stunning baby". It still to this day feels so riveting to say that... Baby... just knowing that I get to call her mine, that to me is everything. We get into the car and start heading towards the beach which is where we planned to go. To watch the sunset on the beach. Being with this woman feels like a dream. Driving towards our destination, my hand gripped around her thigh, music playing in the background with some conversations in the mix. It all just feels so good. How did I get so lucky? We finally made it to the beach after stopping at the gas station to get some snacks and candy. We pulled into the parking lot, got out of the car and started stepping across the soft yet warm, white sand. As we found the perfect spot we lay our blanket down and pull out some food to start eating. Even just watching her take a bite out of her food was enough to bestow hearts in my eyes. "Ooo! That's right I brought an activity for us to do" she exclaimed in excitement as she whips out small pallet of paint, some brushes and two circle canvases. She never ceases to surprise me. She brought an activity to sip some wine, paint together, and watch the sunset. Sip and Paint if you will. And so we did that. Sharing conversations and having laughs at our best efforts to make a decent drawing. No we aren't professional painters but I swear that everything that this woman does is such a work of art to me. As the sun had fell and the night grew darker we laid down. Side by side with our backs against the blanket. Staring into the night sky. We turn over to have a few meaningful conversations about us and about life as we face each other. I grew silent after a little while and we just stared into each others eyes. In that same moment it felt as if my stomach had fell to my feet. I try to keep my composure but at the same time I just want to lay out all of my emotions. She was first to break the silence. "I feel like you have something to say but just can't say it". Shit... I didn't realize I was being that obvious. Do I tell her? Does she even feel the same way? Is now the right time to do this? Hundreds of questions flood my mind as I worry if I should say it. I burrow my face into my arms like a child who was worried of saying something wrong. "Just say what you need to say I promise it won't upset me". I do my best to build up my confidence and bring my attention back to hers. "I Love You Lillian" I finally said it, of course I have always wanted to but was always afraid to until just now. I don't expect her to say it back I just really wanted her to know how I feel. She smiled "I really was not expecting that at all. You know, I haven't loved anyone or told anyone that I love them since my father had passed" I bet he was such an incredible man, I wish that I could have met him just to be able to tell him what a beautiful and amazing daughter he has raised. Oh the conversations we would have. For him to see the type of woman his daughter has grown to be. He would be such a proud father if he could see her today. "I hope you know how I feel about you because you are everything to me and I hope you are not mad I didn't say it back". "Of course I'm not upset, I'm so glad I was finally able to tell you how I feel and I know that if and when you are ready that you will tell me". I'm so glad that we are able to communicate with each other so easily. We ended the night going back to the car driving back to her house to drop her off, both with the biggest smiles on our faces. Mine because I finally told the woman of my dreams that I love her and her because she finally has someone who loves her and wanted to spend the rest of his life with her.