𝚂𝚘𝚗𝚊𝚝𝚊 𝚒𝚗 𝙳𝚊𝚛𝚔𝚗𝚎𝚜𝚜 (𝚃𝚑𝚎 𝙱𝚊𝚝𝚖𝚊𝚗 𝚡 𝚁𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚎𝚛)

𝕔𝕙𝕒𝕡𝕥𝕖𝕣 𝟜: 𝕤𝕚𝕘𝕟𝕒𝕝𝕤

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"God, you look like a mess. What the hell happened?"

"Gee, thanks hon, hello to you too," you rolled your eyes as you entered the apartment. It was slightly cleaner than the last time you saw it; Selina had made a noble effort at restoring it to its former glory. The cats swarmed to your feet. "Have you checked the news?"

"No, why?" The tv was shut off but the music was playing over the radio quietly. Selina was doing the dishes.

"I had a very interesting morning. Let's see: Boss man picked me up, we went to the funeral, I met a cute guy, I almost got hit by a car in the church, the guy who crashed into the church had a bomb on him, the cute guy paid for my taxi, and now I'm here."

"What!? What do you mean there was a bomb?"

Filling Selina in on what happened exactly didn't take long, although you did leave out some names, cough Bruce Wayne cough-not the D.A.s, however.

"So the D.A. was the hostage?"

"Yeah, he was wearing the same outfit from the other day, too. Remember when he asked if we needed a ride?"

"Yeah. I'm guessing he was taken not too long after that."

"Had to have been," you agreed. You opened the fridge to see what was inside. There wasn't much, you knew that, but you hoped there was at least something. You closed the door, frustrated. After a moment of silence, you remembered something.

"What about that score you were talking about?"

"Oh, the narcotics one. Some guy at the club was talking about it. It's apparently at Gotham Recycling."

"Okay, cool. So do you have a way in?"

"...no," she admitted. You rolled your eyes.

"How about this," you said after a beat. "I'll go check it out right now and see if I can find us some cover spots and places to hide. That way we aren't taken by surprise."

"Perfect," she complimented with a growing smile. "Hey, while you're at it," she pointed to a pile of broken furniture. "Be a doll and take that with you, hmm?"

"You're joking, right?"

She smiled and shrugged.

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"Can't believe she made me take all that. I mean, how the fuck do you fit a broken dresser onto a bike?"

Selina was, in fact, not joking about taking some items to the recycling place. It ended up being a good cover, though, because it gave you an excuse to look around the area without being suspicious. It was rather hard to find where you were supposed to drop things off at. Currently, you were complaining as you made your way home after securing the location; there were already some shady guys lurking around, but they didn't pay you any mind. You had just passed Gotham's Police Department when you saw something in the sky.

"What...the...fuck?"

The large object soared in the air, which made you slow to a stop in a side alley and get off your motorcycle. When it approached the ground, a parachute popped from its back. It hilariously hit the bridge over top you and crashed onto a bus, crashed into a parked car, hit some garbage, and then finally skidded to a stop at your feet. The masked man groaned as his eyes traveled from your feet to your eyes.

"Well hi there, stranger," you greeted cheerfully as you crouched down. "How was the fall?"

He caught his breath before muttering, "It was shit." You helped him to his feet. "What're you doing here?"