We all have secrets // shawn mendes

One friday night

Hey , I'm Lauren I'm sixteen years old and I'm just a teenager who is still trying to figure out her puzzled life . On the 21 November 2014 something horrendous had happened to me I did something so horrible .

My parents decided to tell me something , they told me that they were getting divorced and I said what?!?! I yelled I was in shocked my parents told me to calm down
"Now Lauren calm down now your mother and I have decided to split it's the best for us and this doesn't mean that we don't love you we do very very much" said my dad .

But I don't understand why now?? I thought you were in love with each other ? How could you do this to me ? Is there another person involved ? Asked Lauren .

No there isn't hunny it's just really complicated said Lauren's dad . MORE COMPLICATED THAN THIS??? said Lauren .

Now , don't be mad sweety said her mother .

How can I not be mad you guys won't even tell me why your splitting up! You weren't even fighting I didn't even suspect anything I'm so confused right now please tell me you're joking .

Okay fine I guess we'll tell you the truth I caught your father cheating on another woman and your father is in love with this other woman said Lauren's mom .

WHAT DAD HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO HER DO I NOT MEAN ANYTHING TO YOU?! DO YOU NOT CARE ABOUT MOM?! HOW COULD YOU DO THAT TO HER??? IMAGINE IF SHE CHEATED ON YOU HOW WOULD YOU FEEL?!! Yelled Lauren .

Calm down hunny I didn't mean to cheat on your mom things just sorta happen said Lauren's dad .

My mom started to cry .

Okay I can't handle this anymore I need sometime alone ok just leave me alone I'm gonna go to Joey's house if you don't mind said Lauren. Late at night ????? NO YOU CAN'T said dad .

You're not my dad anymore you can't control me I'll go wherever I wanna go GOODBYE!!!!!! Said Lauren .

I was devastated , confused and hurt the only thing I thought of doing was calling Joey and I asked him if I could come over to his house I started crying while I was talking to him on the phone and he asked me if everything was okay and I said no I'm not okay Joey I need you .

Oh my god what happened okay just come to my house and we'll talk okay. I was driving while crying so hard I got so mad I started to just cry and cry and cry my eyes were so red and my nose too .

What I didn't realize was I was speeding like LITERALLY SPEEDING . I was driving so fast I couldn't control my emotions at all I just couldn't and I crashed into an old man and I didn't realize until I passed him and I stopped the car .

I remember thinking to myself what have I just done???? Should I call the ambulance omg no I'll be thrown to jail then but I just can't leave him here .

Come on Lauren you're better than this CALL 911 NOW instead of listening to her subconscious mind she decided not too and just started to continue driving as usual .

When she arrived at Joey's house she realized what she had done she committed a full on crime a legit crime and she felt so scared and obviously she was not gonna tell anything about the accident to Joey she was still devastated about the whole divorce thing and she didn't care about the accident at all .

So I arrived there all I thought about was how good it's gonna feel like to hug Joey , so I rang the doorbell and he came out looking so worried he told me if I was okay and I hugged him straight and whispered to his ear I'm not Joey , I'm not okay .

Joey invited me to his house and we went in his bedroom he asked me what was wrong and I told him everything about the divorce not the accident of course just the divorce and he felt so sorry for me .

Joey told me that I know how you're feeling right now Lauren you know I've been there before my parents got divorced when I was eight years old I'm so sorry to hear this Lauren you'll get through this I promise you're a strong person I guarantee you will get through this .

Lauren just hugged Joey and thanked him for making her feel better . She then sleptover in Joey's house Lauren was asking Joey questions like how did he feel when his parents got divorced and etc .

Joey kept comforting Lauren , Lauren told Joey that she didn't know what she's supposed to do now , she behaved horribly to her dad and she felt guilty . Joey told her that she's just suppose to cry right now let her feelings out but then tomorrow just continue what you usually do you'll feel still sad of course but just try to distract yourself and you're not a horrible person Lauren Joey said .

Everyone will say incredibly rude things to their parents after just receiving the news trust me you're gonna be fine .

Being in Joey's house made me feel so relaxed and so much more better I'm so glad that his my best friend what would I do without him.

So Joey and I drifted of to sleep I started dreaming about the accident and then I just remembered how horrible I was and that I should be focusing on the accident more than the divorce .

I woke up after having that dream seeing Joey still asleep and I saw the time it was 4 a.m and I couldn't fall back to sleep I was feeling super guilty and I didn't know what to do .

I guess I just have to keep this between myself and stop worrying maybe his still alive you never know! I was being positive but I just felt so so bad I was thinking about all the horrible things that might have happened to him , what about his family? I've killed this old humble man and his family will be so sad after hearing the news .

The next morning I headed back home hugged Joey one last time and kissed his cheeks and said goodbye (( btw Joey's gay so I can kiss his cheeks if I want to I have no feelings for him his my best friend and I love him very very much )) I went back to home my parents weren't at home surprisingly I laid in bed crying as I felt super guilty I logged into my Facebook and saw the breaking news and it involved me so I was wrong the old man passed away because of me THIS WAS A HIT AND RUN SITUATION EVERYONE THINKS IM A BAD PERSON NOW OMG .

I can't even control my emotions and this incident was going through my mind throughout the entire holidays I was so depressed everyone thought it was because of the divorce thingy mingy but they were all wrong my dad and I never spoken to each other since that day I yelled at him and my relationship with my mom is stable right now I love my mom very much and I understand what she's going through so instead of being the mean daughter I decided to be a nice one and help my mom and take care of her even though I was still depressed she could still sense that there was something wrong with me still and she thinks it's about the divorce .

I never told anyone since that day Joey is still checking on me we're skyping but of course I'm not having any fun since I just feel so guilty and I thought I didn't deserve any sort of happiness I've thought about committing suicide a bunch of times but I know I was better than that so of course I didn't I had to stay strong and just live with the guilt I guess.