We all have secrets // shawn mendes

It was a sunday afternoon ..

It was a Sunday afternoon .

It has already been a week since the first day of school , and to be honest , school wasn't that bad , it went better than I expected it to be  .

Well the first day was , since I literally fainted in the principles office but thank god for Shawn being there to help me .

I felt really bad for troubling him though , and yes I was supposed to actually give him something as return , but that means that I have to actually go out and buy for him something and I was too lazy to do that .

I'll probably go out at 4.00 pm since it's only 1.00 pm I have a lot of time to spare .

But I still don't know what to get him yet , and frankly the last day I talked to Shawn was on the first day of school , I didn't see him since that day .

Well , that's probably my fault cause honestly for the only thing I did when I was in school was go to class and then when class is done I usually go to the library if I have spare time , I didn't even get to talk to Joey the whole week , I guess I didn't talk to a lot of people , the only reason why I go to the library is because I wanna get good grades this year so I always do my homework and when I don't have homework I just study in the library .

I don't even go for lunch , I normally don't get hungry at school so it's honestly not that necessary , if my mom finds out that I'm not eating at school she'll probably freak out cause she normally forces me to eat , even when I don't want to .

She says I have a food disorder , and I don't really agree to be honest cause I just eat whenever I'm hungry or whenever I'm in the mood to eat , ya know .

So for the past week I was really distant from all of my friends , which was really odd , I'm not sure if Joey knew what happened to me in the principles office though , cause I'm pretty sure if he knew that I fainted he would probably be super concerned and he would talk to me or text me or call me but I didn't receive any text messages from him and not even a call .

I'm pretty sure he didn't , but if he knew , that would be really odd though .

I loved being alone , I did , I loved studying and I loved actually wanting to go to the library and study but the fact that my friends didn't even bother to say hi to me or at least start a conversation with me this past week made me feel like they don't care about me anymore and I honestly feel like they gave up on me .

I guess they think that I will never be the same old me again , the one who loves to party , the one who would actually have fun , the one who would always make people laugh , the one who would always see the light at every bad situation .

But I guess , I have changed .

Change is good right ?

Well I don't really know anymore .

But what I know for sure is that I have definitely changed , 13 year old me wouldn't skip lunch to go and study at the library , I wouldn't enjoy being alone , I have changed for the better .

At least my grades will improve , well I hope they do .

Ever since I was little , I was very ambitious , willing to try new things , I had a bunch of hobbies , I can play the guitar , ukulele , piano , and I'm planning to learn how to play the violin .

I can also sing very well , I just don't really sing in front of people so not many people know that I can sing well , One of my dreams is to perform on stage , in front of huge crowds but unfortunately I have stage fright and well anxiety issues .