I slammed the door behind me. Imagine coming from school , exhausted and your family starts yelling at you. Exactly, thats what I feel right now. For once I would never say anything but it happens almost everyday. But I feel like maybe everything will be fine one day when my mother will come back.
I take her photo frame in my hand thinking that maybe someday I will be a grownup and I would dare to tell everyone that I am going to live with my mother and will never come back to this hell again. I don't think that I ever will be able to do all this.
But I am a very rebellious person. I never ever stay back from proving myself right when someone is talking wrong about me or my mother. Especially my father, I don't think I have ever fought with someone as much as I fight with him. He pisses me off really quick. I try to control my anger and my words but whenever I hear that bullshit coming out from his mouth, I feel like punching him in the face so hard he would bleed his nose out.I never did , its his good luck but the day he crosses the line that keeps me from doing it, it will be his last day when he will see the world with a normal face.
I really need my mother here. I know that her work is really important but I really miss her sometimes. I miss how other students bring delicious meals in their tiffins but me. My tiffin is not even worth a luck. I don't know what to do but maybe only working hard and studies can only take me out of this hell. I really love my mom. I hope one day I will be able to make her dream of seeing me successful come true.
I never really imagine myself that I will cry and sob this much without even realising. My pillow in which is dying out of pain was totally drenched by my tears of pain and hurt. I always consider myself as a very strong and bold girl but those are just the masks that I put for the world, so that they cannot hurt me more. Only I know how much this girl is broken from inside.
Everytime someone asks why I never come in a relationship and I always reject boys. The reason is that I cannot bear more hurt and pain in my life , I know that I am already very broken and if something more painful will enter then I will shatter. I will shatter so much that I will never be able to bring myself together. You know all boys are the same and thats why I NEVER WANT TO TRUST ANY BOY TO REGRET IT LATER ON.
