I woke up as the bright sunlight came through my window. I hated it when anyone ever disturbs my sleep. Its the most precious thing ever for me.
Feeling exhausted and sleepy, I was not feeling like going to the school today. "Shit! I have to go today" I realised as today was the day which could either make my month or destroy it. It was the result day.
Not like other classes, in our section our class teacher would bring all the sheet bundles and give each student his bundle. They could check their marks and could make changes if their was mistake in correction.
It was not allowed in school to show copies before the result day but our class teacher being the best ever did it.
I stood up from the bed and motivated myself. Not really motivated but mentally prepared myself for only the good and not really for the bad results.
It is the worst mistake you could ever make as it leads to puffy eyes. Atleast I do.
Anyways, I dressed up. Just thanked God for helping me in the exams which according to me went very well. I sat on my scooty and left without eating as I always do. I was constantly thinking about the results while driving.
I was about to hit a kid crossing the road just when I came out of my thoughts. Thoughts can be scary you know. Anyways I reached school, tiredly I parked the scooty and went upstairs to my classroom.
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"How much do you people shout?" our teacher asked as she entered the class increasing my heartbeat. The class was worried and thus was discussing a lot. Unfortunately, my best friend could not come today so I had to bear it all alone.
"As you people know that this is not allowed. Please don't make any noise." she told everyone to corporate. She took out the bundles and started arranging them serial number wise. My heart was beating so fast that I felt like it will jump out of my lungs.
She shouted,"SILENCE!!". I came out of my thoughts and realised it was the time.
She called out for serial no. 1 , then 2 , then 3 increasing my heartbeat with each number. As soon as I heard ,"Roll no. 6?" I got up and went to take my bundle.
I took a deep breath and opened my first copy which was of English Literature. I got 42/50. It disappointed me a little but I realised that in literature you hardly score marks. So I scored good according to the whole class. Then the second copy, the third , the fourth and I checked all my copies and the marks were according to my expectations. Not so disappointing but also not my best.
As soon as I pulled out the last copy from the bundle,HINDI I saw a big circle and written on it "30/50". It was the worst marks I ever got. I knew I would not score good in hindi but I didn't expect this stoop low.
I couldn't even check the rest of the pages as my eyes were full of water. I didn't want to appear weak so I dropped my head on the seat and covered it with my hands. Everybody was shouting so I didn't really had to worry about someone noticing me.
It was pure hurt that I felt. I felt like a loser who always lost no matter how hard she tried. I really really tried this time but...
I was thinking as I heard a voice," How was it?". I didn't recognise the voice because of the noise in the classroom. But I did not look up, obviously I didn't give a fuck about anyone except me at that time.
That voice came again clearer this time,"Hey , what happened?". I recognised the voice. It was none other than Shashank. I didn't really wanted to talk to someone. But out of all the people only he came up to me why? But I cried out ignoring the crack in my voice I said,"Go away.. I..I don't wanna talk to anyone".
I thought he left. But after a few seconds, a hand rested on my shoulder. It was a warm touch but with support enough to make me look up. I saw a perfect snatched waist, broad shoulders and the most fucking prettiest face of a boy.
How can I forget how beautiful he looked in my hate towards him? Shashank glanced in my eyes and asked ," What happened?"
I didn't speak anything instead I shifted in my seat signaling him to sit down if he wanted to. He did. He turned towards me and saw straight in my eyes. I know I placed a lot of masks for the world as a very bold girl but I felt like he saw through those masks , that little girl who seek comfort and support from her family and friends which she couldn't get.
He didn't ask as anything as if he already got the answer,"I know that it hurts. It hurts like hell to work your ass off and get 30/50" I realised that the sheet was on the seat which he saw. I took the sheet from his hands. He smiled and said,"Its okay Advika, it happens to everyone."
I said smiling in hurt,"You can say it , you always get to the top 3" . He replied saying ," I wasn't born as a topper. Even I had to go through these kind of things to come at this position."
I don't know why but for once I felt like its okay to believe him.
He gave me a side hug to which I responded with awkwardness," Thank you, for once in these 2 years you felt like a good friend."
He smiled and said," What do you mean? I am a very good boy". To which we both chuckled at.
It was the first time when I felt like its okay to lose sometimes. It teaches you to work again with double energy and motivation. I couldn't believe I would ever trust Shashank Awasthi's words. It is what it is. He acted nice today.
I came home with puffy eyes as expected.
