When you're gay, you're gay

Chpt 2

It had been months since Roman and Georgia's divorce finalized and all he wanted was to move on with his life. But how do you move on after being in something so loveless... so perfect it felt plastic. He didn't know, he couldn't know. No one he knew was going through what he was.

He thought of trying therapy but nothing bad really happened to him. He had a perfect childhood with a single brother who loved him like Roman was his own son, and two parents who would do anything for him, even now, in his mid twenties. In two words Roman could sum up his life in two words, "cookie cutter."

Within the last few months, he left his job and Tennessee entirely. It was a long drive but he ended up staying at a hotel in Arkansas so he would be closer to his family again. Though when they heard the news they had no intention of talking to him as much as they used to. He knew people needed time to grieve the relationship and that was all that could really be said about it. So if people needed time, they needed time and so did he.

He wanted to revel in the fact that he wasn't a part of a pair he didn't want to be. For the first time he wasn't "Gia and Roman," he was just Roman. And she was just Georgia. He often went to bars to execute said freedom, but no one quite caught his eye. The women that would flirt with him annoyed him more than anything. He didn't find them attractive or even remotely intelligent.

Just drunk and desperate.

He'd go home in the early morning bored and reeking of alcohol to sleep for just a few hours before searching for a mechanic job around the area he was in. He was not shy for money at this point, he was a good saver. He knew what it meant to be strapped for cash in school so he learned that if you don't need it, you don't get it was a good policy.

Plus finding a job wouldn't be hard for Roman, he was good at his job and he knew what to say in interviews, all he really needed was to be able to do was find an apartment near one of these places of work. But the process was boring for him, long and tiring. He didn't feel like he had found any of what he wanted after leaving his home for four years.

The gym was boring. The hotel was boring. The bar was boring. Women were boring. Searching for a life here was boring. It was almost like nothing really moved for him and he found little to no point of leaving in the first place wondering if it was something that was wrong with him and not the world.

It was March by the time he found a job and an apartment that he thought was satisfactory, but the trips to the bar didn't stop. He observed how after he turned a woman down they'd turn and stumble toward the next handsome man until one said "I'll take you home."

He sighed loudly and waved the bartender over.

"Just a shot."

"Of?" The man's voice sung. It sent shivers down Roman's spine. Now that he thought about it, he never really talked to this specific worker. He had always talked to an older woman who worked here, her hair silver from time and stress.

"My name is Jamie and I've worked here for over a decade and I've never had a regular as sulky as you." She'd laugh to him, and tell him about her day. Roman never minded though since her drinks never disappointed. But her dating advice did, she always told her not to be picky and just say yes once, but it wasn't necessarily something he was going to do. Another intimate interaction with someone he can't find any attraction to and he might just die.

"Anything you got." A chuckle left the man's lips as he poured a shot of vodka into a small glass and slid it to Roman gently, the awed tone Roman had did not go unnoticed by the bartender.

"Looks like you needed something strong."

"Don't we all." Roman mumbled in response. His eyes didn't leave the bartenders, even as he pressed the glass to his lips.

"You know I see you here every night until closing actually-" The bar tender paused for a second, his eyes leaving Roman's to trace down his body, it left Roman tingling.

"And... I think I'd like to see more of you." It was almost as if something sparked in his heart, finally after all these years he had found the break in routine that he had had for so many-

"What?" He said slowly, the blush on his face slowly fading and realization stinging his brain through the alcoholic haze he had developed over the months.

The bartender paused and then scratched his muscular arm awkwardly.

"Did I...read you wrong...?" He hesitated between every word, almost as if he had committed some unspoken law to not hit on a straight man.

"I-" Roman began and then stopped himself watching the facial expression of the man. He was handsome he had to admit to himself. He had a five o'clock shadow and messy hair-he was rugged and something about that attracted him so much. He held his tongue thinking about how on Earth this was how he was feeling. He had only been with women his whole life. For crying out loud, he married one! How is this how he's feeling.

"I'm so sorry, I dont usually do this, I swear." Roman's attention snapped back to the bartender who nervously twisted the bottle of vodka between his palms. His eyes avoided Roman's like a fire avoiding water.

"I just thought-" Roman put his hand up slowly to stop him from speaking. He opened his mouth to kindly reject the man until he heard Jamie's voice echo in the back of his mind- just say yes for once.

"How about tonight..." He paused remembering that he never got a name for the man.

"Evan. I'm Evan." A calm smile rested on his lips. While Evan tried to hide it, Roman noticed the sigh of relief he let out through his nose.

"Roman." The two men looked at each other for what felt like hours but in reality was only a few seconds as someone quickly came up behind Roman and asked for a few shots of whiskey for their group. But it was electric the way they gazed at each other, magnetic. Almost as if they were pulled together by a string.

He didn't understand why but Roman felt like he needed this experiment. What if he finally breaks the boredom he's been stuck in for years? What if this iwhat he needed? Almost as if the universe was calling him to do this, from the first shiver that Evan sent down his spine to the perfect way he spoke to him. And only him.

Plus what was the worst that could happen? His family didn't know where he was exactly yet and neither did Georgia. No one would know about how he was feeling then unless it was really how he felt even if this is what he wanted in the moment. No one would know.

"Alright, we can go back to my apartment after my shift then." Evan smirked down at Roman knowingly. He could see the inner turmoil in Roman, and it satisfied him. He knew now from the long silence he was presented with that the poor man infront of him had never been with a man before, or even thought about it.

To be someone's first is a nerve wracking thing but Evan was confident, he hadn't had a one night stand in years, much less dated anyone. The excitement that he felt from the top of his head to the tip of his toes set his fingertips on fire. Each bottle he touched for the rest of the night would feel freezing cold. From the corner of his eye he could see Roman watching him nervously- he shifted in his bar stool every so often. He couldn't tell entirely if it was completely nerves or if some of it was anticipation. But as the end of the night drew closer and Roman got drunker, he didn't shy away from the light caress he'd leave on his hand after bringing him another drink.

Evan really only thought of one thing during the rest of his shift that night.

How good Roman was going to taste when he kissed him.