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4: Speaking With Jaehyun

Pacing. Jaehyun couldn't set still. He paced as his mind went into overdrive. "제가 질투하면 안 된다는 것을 알아요. 저는 그들 중 누구에게도 화낼 권리가 없어요. 그들을 보는 것이 너무 힘들어요." (I know I shouldn't be jealous. I have no right to be upset with any of them. It is just so hard seeing them.) Dr. Shim immediately picked up on the way Jaehyun was speaking. He wasn't talking about Ha-Young. He was speaking of the others involved in the situation.

"You mean the other boys, right ? You are frustrated, but feel your feelings are invalid because they too were hurt in this situation." Jaehyun nodded as he subconsciously played with a bracelet on his wrist. A simply while bracelet Ha-Young had given him. 

"Yes, I feel like I am making things seem worse than they actually are. Besides I doubt I am the only one hurt by this whole fiasco..." Hyerin immediately corrected him. His feelings were valid. He shouldn't put down his feelings because he feels he isn't the only one suffering. 

" 아니요. 재현아, 이렇게 말하면 안 돼요. 당신은 당신이 느끼는 것을 무엇이든 느낄 권리가 있습니다. 다른 사람들이 똑같이 기분이 나쁠 수도 있기 때문에 그것은 변하지 않는다. 다시는 이 고통으로부터 이기적으로 당신의 심장을 보호하는 것을 지켜보는 것은 나쁘지 않다..." (No. You are not allowed to speak like this, Jaehyun ya. You deserve the right to feel whatever you feel. That doesn't change because other people maybe feel just as bad. It is not bad to watch to selfishly protect your heart from this pain ever again...) Silence. The words Hyerin just spoke seemed to have sent Jaehyun into deep thought.

Was he being to harsh on himself ? Was the situation only so intense because of the pressure he was putting on himself for dismissing how he truly felt ?

Jaehyun sat by the window sill as he mindlessly looked at the clouds. "Is it all worth it ? Is feeling worth it when it hurts this much ?" His eyes welded with tears, but they hadn't fell from his eyes. Dr. Shin nodded as she gave her final response of the session, "It is worth feeling, Jaehyun ya. It means you're slowly healing..."

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