Naruto the REAL Fifth Hokage by Traban16

Chapter 14: Reaction Attraction, the Big Finale!

Chapter 14: Reaction Attraction, the Big Finale!

Jiraiya walked through the halls of the hospital looking for one person. His intend on finding her was about as strong as she was. The reason he wanted to see her is because of the hospital policy, which he wanted to talk about. He was intent on finding Tsunade Senju, the Head Medic Ninja and Chief of Medicine and Surgery.

Normally he'd wait a few days more to see her about this kind of thing, but this time it was of the upmost importance to him. She was now a part of the medical staff, and not just any part, but the head of it. Naruto had commissioned her just the other day during that meeting where the civilian council had finally said why they were always so pissy.

Now that he thought about it they did have a bit of a point, but he had to side with the ninja view of things on this. He was bias and he didn't care. If there weren't any ninja then no training, protecting, or spying could be done, which meant that this village wouldn't be around anymore. And while on that fact, if it weren't for two ninja clans coming together, then the village wouldn't even exist. So there!

Jiraiya sighed as he walked further into the hospital. He hate always had these things. They were like just saying, "Don't worry, you're just in a giant place where people are slowly dying around you, so get comfortable, because your ass is gonna be here awhile", and if that wasn't bad enough, these places had… the n-words. No not that, you racist bastards! We love people from Kumo! He was talking about n-n-needles… Those disgusting things with their impaling and penetrating; he'd be sure to make a lewd comment about that later, but right now he was needle-hating.

"So Tsunade-sama, what is your diagnosis?" a voice was heard behind the door Jiraiya had just walked by. Did it say Tsunade?

"I've never seen a case like that kid's before. There's just so much emo in him that's it's ridiculous. He doesn't show any emotions except for anger and contempt. I'd smack him if I thought it'd help." He heard Tsunade's voice. He turned around and looked at the door. On it was a plague that read, "Tsunade Senju, Head of Staff, and Chief Medic Ninja". He smacked himself for not having noticed that at all.

"Tsunade-sama, what's with that smile? Why are you so happy?" Jiraiya raised a brow to that. Was that Shizune's voice and Tonton's oink of agreement?

"I don't know… I just feel like some idiot I know has finally had a realization about just how stupid they are." Tsunade's voice drifted out as Jiraiya grew an annoyed look, but then remembered why he was there. He pressed his ear to the door.

"So what about this boy, Tsunade-sama?' Shizune asked as Tsunade hmm-ed it over, meaning she was in thought.

"I'll name it, and from there we'll have to find a cure." Tsunade said as Jiraiya shook his head. The poor sap was being made a test monkey for Tsunade.

"What will we call it?"

"…hmm… I got it! Little Fag Bitch Pansy Ass Sissy Syndrome!" Tsunade said as Jiraiya had to use a silencing seal on himself just to laugh. The two others who were in the room with Tsunade laughed loud and long just as Jiraiya did, but then their laughs died down in a sort of awkward silence.

"… you're not… You're not serious are you, Tsunade-sama?" Shizune asked as Jiraiya could just imagine the look Tsunade was giving her.

"Yup, I sure am" Tsunade said in her mock southern Fire country drawl.

"Umm… okay… Sasuke Uchiha is now diagnosed with Little Fag… Bitch… Pansy Ass… Sissy Syndrome. Oh, god why are you doing this, Tsunade-sama?" Shizune asked after she had tortured herself through the name. Jiraiya could tell Shizune's face was red and that Tsunade was probably smirking up a storm.