LUST

Chapter 4

The night after I kissed, tai didn't talk to me the whole ride back. We stayed at the fair for another hour and got on more rides. I really enjoyed being with him. But I'm scared I fucked up something that haven't even started yet.

I decided to leave him alone for now. I know how it feels to be confused about your sexuality. And I don't want to pressure him into anything he isn't down for.

Time skip to Monday

I walked into school with a lot on my mind. I wasn't in the mood to talk to anyone.

I walked into first period nervous eshit because I had a class with tai. He sat in the far back just looking, not like he was mad or anything just simply staring off into space. He suddenly looked up after he saw me and smirked at me. So I made my way to the back and sat right next to him.

"Wassup"

"Hey.. " I replied quietly.

"Why you whispering baby" he whispered back.

When I tell you my heart fell to the bottom of my ass.. baby wtf , lord take me nowww

"Excuse me, what did you "? I stammered.

"You heard me, and I don't like to repeat myself zuri".

"Well shit I'm a little hard of hearing nigga but anyways.. you made at me"?

"Mad, Why would I be mad zuri"

"Because of what I did on Saturday you know I-I- didn't want to rush into anything you aren't ready for. And you've made it clear, numerous times that you aren't gay so like.. fuck I'm confused".

"Don't be..I don't know either, when you kissed me I wanted to pull away but I.. didn't and now I just don't know how I feel about you. I don't want to hurt you zuri.. I really don't but I can't control myself. A part of me wants to kill you and the other wants to cater to you".

And with that, he walked out of the classroom leaving me shocked, confused, and scared. So he does have feelings for me but also wants to kill me ? what type of Wattpad story shit is this.

After that class, I decided to say fuck school and went to go find him. I didn't want to leave that nigga in a state like that.  And although I might be a bitch I do have heart. I look in the bathrooms, the cafeteria, and in some abandoned classrooms on the third floor.

This nigga better be in one of these classrooms or I'm taking my black ass back downstairs.

As I was walking down the hallways I saw Jamal lightbright ass. I don't have time for his shit today. This frog-looking nigga saw me and rushed his happy ass toward me.

TRIGGER WARNING  MENTIONS OF RAPE - If triggered or uncomfortable I advise you to skip this part.

"Hey baby," he say grinning.

"Nigga fuck outta here with all that".

"Stop playing hard to get you know I love you " he replies.

"Well you know what nigga you can... kiss my yellow ass " I laughed.

"Zuri you going to stop playing with me" he says while pushing me into the locker.

"Hold on nigga you got me all types of fucked up, get off of me Jamal".

He leans down and kisses me while wrapping his around my throat tightly.

"GET TF OFF OF ME" I mumbled through the forced kiss.

He pulls away from my lips and brings his hand up and slaps me across the face.

"Now are you going to shut tf up and listen to me bitch" he says tightening his grip on my throat.

"No, now move around bitch you hurting me," I say trying to get him off of me but won't budge.

"Who the fuck is you talking to nigga " he says while squinting his eyes.

"Jamal please let me go ok.. I'm sorry " he smiles at my pleas and pushes me to the ground.

"Get on your knees Zuri"

"No," I say quietly.

He roughly pulled my hair back and I screamed.

"I SAID ON YOUR KNEES"

I abruptly get on my knees in pain, tears slowly run down my face.

"That's it bitch get on your knees for Daddy" he says while pulling his dick out.

Never in my life, I thought this would happen to me. I can't breathe and knowing what is coming I want to throw up. But I can't move nor speak or fight anymore.

He proceeded to push me to the ground and did what he wanted. I felt so dirty and disgusted with myself and I layed there I don't know how long but I couldn't move .. I just cried.

School was mostly likely over and it was dark outside. I got to the parking lot and drove home. My parents didn't question me. So I just walked up to my room took off all my clothes and got into the shower and tried to wash him off of me.

I scrubbed my body so hard I turned red. I brushed my teeth until my gums bled. I looked at my reflection. Bruises littered my neck, my eyes red from the crying and big slap mark was on my cheek.

I couldn't stop crying I felt useless and disgusting. My body felt worn out. And no matter how much I scrubbed he was still left on it. The only thing I can do is blame myself.

I turned over and looked at my phone and saw 20 notifications mostly from Willow asking where I was today. I turned my phone off and laid there in the darkness scared to close my eyes.

I didn't go to school for the next two weeks after that. I told my mom and she held me and cried and told me how sorry she was. I told willow and she stayed with me but eventually had to go back to school. My dad was furious. I told him I didn't want the school to know because I was scared,scared of what Jamal would do once he found out I told anybody.

Tai texted me numerous times. I just couldn't respond right now. He then showed up at my house and I had no excuse but to let him in.

When I saw him he looked at me with worry. He sat next to me and caressed my face which cause me to flinch.

"What happened?"

I looked away feeling tears well up in my eyes.

"It's okay.. tell me" .

"He raped me" I say swallowing the bile forming in my throat.

I burst into tears and my body trembles. He pulls me into him and puts his chin on top of my head.

We lay there with me in his arms, hours go by and we don't speak only breaths can be heard throughout the room.

I felt safe. He held me so tight with no plan of letting me go.

" je suis tellement désolé bébé" he whispered.

Those were the last words I heard before I closed my eyes.

~Translations ~

" I'm so sorry baby" - je suis tellement désolé bébé

Hi guys I know I haven't updated in awhile, I've been busy with work and everything. I hope you enjoyed I know this chapter was sad.

Let me know your thoughts and I hope you all had a great day until then ✌🏾