Hellfury

Chapter 10: Cahir

Cahir could hear her think. Her thumb brushed over his cheek again and again as he lay there and waited for her to fall asleep. She was going through everything that he'd said. He knew the part about Aretuza was a pitfall. All it took was one mage, one single Aretuzan mage on the entire continent and she'd know he lied.
All he had to do was to keep her away from the Sandpiper, Yennefer, the fucking Witcher and mages. And soldiers he supposed, they never broke the set decorum, they would all bow to him. Bowing once he could write off as fear, but twice? No way.

Cahir kept his breathing even, if he fell asleep now he'd never get another chance. This was the moment he'd been waiting for.

Why haven't you killed her yet?

She was unarmed, at peace and sleeping. One nick to her artery-
No. Too much blood. He'd never be able to clean it off himself quickly enough to not raise suspicion. If he stabbed her through the heart there would be less bleeding, less stains, if she still had the blanket wrapped around herself he'd be able to take her somewhere else and finish-

Auri moved her head, then she turned over on her side and her hand left his cheek. Cahir cursed under his breath. This was exactly why he should have just killed her by the Yaruga. Now she'd told him things about herself, her mother and her life. This was why he didn't like touching her in the first place, if he got used to the feeling of her skin he'd never be able to actually kill her. He had no idea why he'd even allowed her to touch him in the first place. The arm was one thing. It was that or death, and he'd needed help.
He found no explanation for the horse or the counter. She'd placed her hand on his thigh and he had not shook it off immediately like he'd wanted too. Even when her own fingers curled around his open hand on the oak counter he'd just let her. My love. He hadn't wanted to react to it, but he had. The same feeling flew through his body then as it did now. Cold, painful, unending loneliness. The feeling of her hand was gone, the heat with it.

Cahir reached a hand down to his leg, trying to move as little as possible as he silently drew the dagger from his boot. He needed to do it now. He needed to get this over with, kill her, and leave this fucking inn before he froze to death. To hell with Skellige and the entire plan.
Cahir tightened his grip on the dagger and lifted himself up. Auri moaned softly and turned over on her back. Cahir grinned. It kept him from having to stab her in the back. The dim light from the moon illuminated the gray threads in the too worn blanket around her, it smelled of horse, rat droppings and vomit, how she even managed to keep it near her astounded him. Cahir reached out a hand and tugged on the corner closest to her neck.

He only had to pull at it a little to get her hand to let go. Cahir held his breath as he carefully dragged the blanket down to her midriff. She still wore the same shirt. The one that was covered in ghoul-blood, his blood and stew. She lay completely still as he placed the tip of the dagger over her heart and moved his hand to the pommel.

She moved again, and this time his dagger caught on one of the strings keeping her shirt tied, the fraying piece of linen untied itself around his blade and he stopped moving.
Her chest- her shoulders and her neck-
Covered in scars. Burns. She'd lied to him. It had hurt her. The shoulder he'd touched when she spoke about her mother was red, the skin had bubbled and then cracked. She had willingly burnt herself to keep him warm, despite not trusting him or even believing him in the first place. He knew he was a shitty liar and there was no way in hell he'd be able to answer all her gnawing questions.

Another thought burrowed its way into his mind. She was from Skellige. She'd never told him her last name, for all he knew the arrow he'd shot through Eist Tuirseach's eye might not only have ended the life of the Cintran king, but her relative. Cousin? Uncle?
If she found out who he was before he reached Skellige he was fucked. She'd end him with a snap of her fingers. He needed her to believe him long enough to get to Skellige, figure out what information to bring back to the Emperor and how to get her fucking head off her shoulders. He'd given his word, his life depended on it. He had four weeks. Four weeks until his own head would meet the executioner's block.

Cahir looked at her. She was worth more alive than dead right now and he'd never get out of the inn with her body, he'd also told the fucking soldiers he was going to Skellige, that piece of information had definitely reached Emhyr by now.
Cahir lifted the tip of his dagger from her chest, grabbed one of the flimsy strings and pulled the shirt closed. He placed the dagger under his pillow and laid down.
He still wondered what she felt like, her face. Her hands were soft, despite being full of fire more often than not- She was asleep, he could just reach out-
Cahir lifted his hand and gently moved a dark lock of hair away from her forehead. He tucked it behind her head and very carefully moved his hand again and dragged a finger across the bridge of her nose, he couldn't help himself. She didn't move.
He tilted his head to the side and wondered. Her face wasn't hot. He'd expected the fire to be under her skin, not contained within her as such, but she was the same temperature as him. She moved her head slightly to the side, moving away from the shimmering stream of moonlight. He noticed it then, her pulse. Beating a rigorous rhythm against her neck.
Cahir stopped breathing. Was she pretending to be asleep? Had she felt everything?

His panicked mind wandered back to Skellige. He needed to rid them of their ships, he needed to burn them. The Isles didn't have enough trees to rebuild an entire armada. He could sneak away in the night and burn every ship he came across-
Auri loosed a breath in her sleep. Her pulse was still the same, and he realized that what she'd said was true. The fire only took what she gave, and right now, it was burning her. He noticed her cheeks growing red, small beads of sweat appeared in her hairline and slowly ran down her face and pooled on her chest, quickly dampening the crusty shirt. He'd only seen mages turn to ash, he'd never seen them actually burn bright, this was not something he'd leave up to fate. She would be his salvation.

Cahir didn't feel like burning to death yet, he'd been burnt before. He had no idea what went through his tired mind and what possessed him to move, but he did. He moved his hand to her chest again. He placed his palm flat above her heart and to his surprise she took a breath, her heart beat against his palm. Too fast. How she hadn't woken up was beyond him. He'd panicked before, he knew it hurt. His own lungs had given out when his head had been placed on the block, he'd struggled to breathe and his heart had sent jolts of pain through his entire body. Cahir moved his thumb, gently circling it over her gleaming skin. He shouldn't. She wasn't meant to be like this, she was meant to be ruthless, murderous and remorseless - a hellbeast. Auri wasn't meant to be scared, and she most definitely wasn't supposed to react to his touch. Her heart slowed down and the red tinge on her cheeks disappeared. He'd avoided touching her fearing that he'd-

Auri reached a hand out from beneath the blanket by her waist and took his hand. Her fingers locked around his wrist and he felt his own heart speed up. How would he explain this? He was about to open his mouth to say something when she turned again, she took the hand with her and tucked it under her cheek much like she'd done to him an hour ago. She placed her chin on the heel of his hand and wrapped her other hand around his arm. If he moved she'd wake up, and he realized he liked her touch. The thought made him sick.
   'What are you doing?' she mumbled sleepily into his hand, her eyes were still closed and he wasn't entirely sure she was awake.
   'Nothing,' he whispered and tried not to squirm as her arm neared the dagger under his pillow at an alarming rate.
   'Your hand,' she mumbled.
   'You took it?' he tried and kept still.
   'It's cold. It feels-' she dragged his hand closer to her face and sighed '-cold, soothing.'

Cahir said nothing. He only looked at her tired face and the dark circles under her eyes. How long was it since she'd slept properly? Eaten anything she didn't find on the ground? Had she been hunting since Sodden?

He really tried not to care, desperately so. He tried not to care about the feeling of her hand on his and the feeling of her arm against his skin. Most of all he tried not to care about her breath on his face or how the wrinkle between her eyebrows vanished the moment his hand touched her face.

Cahir started at the stream of light shining in between them, the ever-scurrying rats had quieted and her breathing returned to normal. It took another hour for him to realize he was fucked. He hadn't slept a thing. He'd just laid next to her, his hand still very much on her face. He moved his aching arm away from her grasp and brushed his itching hair away from his face. He cast a glance out one of the cracks in the wall and saw that the sky had changed from pitch black to gray. Morning was coming and he'd lost feeling in his entire arm. His shoulder pounded and he desperately wanted to get just an hour of sleep-
   'Can I have the arm back?'
   'No-' she was still half-asleep and the sheer determination in her voice made him give up. Fine. she could have the fucking arm. He gently tugged on it enough to make his own uncomfortable sleeping-position more bearable and turned over on his back. He placed the aching arm across his chest, and let her move her face deeper into the pillow and further into the palm of his hand.

Cahir fell asleep. He didn't even notice it at first. He noticed when Auri let go of his hand and turned away from him. He placed his eyes on the back of her head and whispered
   'You're not ordinary at all, are you?'
   'Sorry to disappoint you, but no,' she replied and moved her knees back up to under her chin. She wrapped her arms around her legs and before he figured out a reply she had drifted off.

He'd been in trouble before. Many times. He'd been at the wrong ends of swords, had mages rummage through his mind and had daggers, glasses, spoons and arrows thrown at his face, he'd been forced to dig graves and haul around corpses for months but nothing compared to this. Nothing compared to the fucking revelation that dawned on him now. And as the sun rose over the dreary inn, the lady began shuffling to and from the other rooms and her husband whistled a song behind the counter, Cahir realized he was utterly and completely undone. She would be his freedom.