Hellfury

Chapter 19: Cahir

Cahir didn't know if it was the herbs speaking or her, and to be honest, he didn't care. It pained her to admit it, that much he understood. She was thankful, that should have been enough, it should be enough for him to let it go-
'I'm not leaving you again so you should get used to me.' he said and moved over on his side next to her. She didn't reply. He half thought she faked being asleep when the familiar herb-induced breathing reached him. Mere hours ago she had begged him to touch her in her delirium to help her tell the truth from the dreams, she had begged him to not leave her. He had refused her. He refused to take advantage of her.

Cahir placed a hand on her shoulder and shook her gently, when she didn't stir he placed his head on her chest and closed his eyes. He did it to keep track of her pulse. He knew now that every time her pain spiked her heart sped up, he'd been doing it for days. Gently pressing herbs to her lips at regular intervals when her heartbeat betrayed her.

There was no pain. He stayed awake for hours, counting her breaths and listening to her heart, forever dreading that first night he'd laid like this. Listening to her ragged breathing and her anguished screaming. If he never had to hear that sound again he'd be content. If he never had to see her scream until she bled he'd be-

Auri stirred beneath him. He moved his head from her chest and looked at her face. The familiar sweat had returned and the fog didn't lift when she opened her eyes. She had the same drawn, pained and unfocused gaze as before.
'Why are you still here?' she mumbled and turned over on her other side.
'I owe you that much. You healed my arm, I couldn't just let you bleed out and die-'
'You keep killing me in my dreams. You keep stabbing me over and over, and then you laugh down at me while I drown in my own blood-' she said with a defeated look on her face.

Cahir's mind cracked. The pain she still felt and the dreams that kept coming back, she had felt the dagger. She had felt him try to kill her, and somehow, her mind kept reminding her of it.
'I can't tell if this is-' Her eyes fluttered slightly and before he managed to tell her to continue she fell asleep again. He ran a tentative hand over her chest. Triss had said to feel for the heat. Irregular heat. He'd thought that would be the simplest thing he had to do, but he'd completely underestimated just how much Auri used her fire, even when unconscious. Some aspect of him knew she did it to let some of it out, another part of him was mortified. He had sat with her in the scolding waters and he'd felt his skin blister. Her own skin had scorched his. Triss had warned him to get out and leave her but he had refused. He should have listened to her. The cooling paste she had left him didn't even cover his foot.

Cahir had slept when she did, the first time she fainted from the pain he had been too scared to close his eyes. The second time when the hallucinations came he had just laid there next to her and told her about his life. He had told her about the training, the missions and the graves. He noticed then that as long as he kept his voice low and spoke quietly her breathing evened out.

He had spent hours thinking about how he'd keep himself awake. How was he going to keep doing this if she-
He'd taken one of the reins and tied it around her wrist. He tied the other end to his arm and laid down. The moment she moved he'd feel it. He had been next to her for half a week, only moving when she did.

He'd fed her every piece of salted meat he had, forced her to swallow less than clean water from the stream and calmed her down when she threw it all back up. The night before he went to Oxenfurt he had thought she was out of the woods. He assumed the smell was him. He had been so relieved she'd been speaking he hadn't even checked. He'd let her go. He watched her stumble out of the cave-

The smell. He would never forget the smell for as long as he lived. The fire within her had charred the skin just as much as the necrosis. She had heated the infection herself and made it spread without knowing it. He had ignored it because he reeked-