The way I loved you

2

It didn't take long for Audrey to go upstairs and unpack her belongings for the summer. She loved her bedroom in the beach house, it was perfect. She had a view of the beach straight from her bed, the sun shone, lighting up her room every morning. Her room was covered in little things she'd collected over the summers she spent here, things from seashells and jars of sand to love letters and presents from friends that had come and gone at Cousins. Her favourite thing though, was the small vase that sat next to her bed on top of her beside table. Every year Conrad would buy new flowers to put in it and would make sure they were ready for the day she arrived. He'd been doing it for 10 years now and he hasn't broken the tradition since. This year, he had picked some pink and white roses, by the end of the summer they'd be fully grown and Audrey would flatten them and but them in an album with the others. It was something that only they knew about, their own little thing, and it was something Audrey hoped they'd be doing  for years and years to come.

The girl went downstairs to see if she could help with anything, she walked through to the kitchen where Susannah and belly were. "Oh and there's my golden girl! My two beautiful girls look at you both." Audrey smiled and wrapped her arm around belly. "Oh you look so much like your mother Audrey, it's going to be so different without her here this year." The room went silent and Audrey looked down at the bracelet on her wrist she found her self playing with whenever she was anxious. It was a pearl bracelet her mother owned once upon a time, she gifted it to her on her 16th birthday, the last birthday she ever had with her mother. Her mother, Susannah and Laurel were best friends from birth and they had done everything together, been there through all the milestones. The death of Katherine Ledger was a loss for everyone. Audrey snapped back into reality when other voices joined them in the kitchen. Jeremiah came in and asked belly if she wanted to go for a swim which she agreed and they left. "I'm sorry for bringing her up, I didn't mean to upset you honey." Susannah squeezed the teenage girls shoulder in comfort and she simply looked up giving the woman a watery smile. "No, it's okay I don't want people to walk on eggshells around me about her. I love it when people talk about her you know? It keeps her memory alive and here of all places is where I want her to be remembered most because here she was free and she was herself and it's the most beautiful and real anybody saw her." Susannah nodded although she didn't seem all too in her head. The girl wiped the single tear that left her eye and jumped off the kitchen stall. "I'm gonna go get ready for dinner." The older woman didn't reply, she just stared ahead. Audrey furrowed her eyebrows at Susannah's face weird behaviour but simply shrugged it off and went upstairs.

Everyone was sat around the table, the first family dinner of the summer and Audrey couldn't be more excited. She was sat opposite Conrad and between Steven and Jeremiah. She was having a conversation with Jeremiah about their plans for the summer when Laurel interrupted. "Steven I swear to god, if you look at that phone one more time, I'm putting it in the screen basket." Audrey let out a small giggle under her breath as Steven completely ignored his mother. "It's just we want to see your beautiful faces. Can dinner be a screen free zone? You know, like the olden days." Susannah's softer approach didn't work either so Jeremiah wiggled his eyebrows at Audrey signalling to her that he was going to do something. She watched as he grabbed Steven's phone and threw it directly into the screen basket and showing off his muscles after. "Boom! Nailed it." Audrey shook her head and laughed as the blonde boy continued to flex his muscles at the dinner table and she swore she could see a hint of a smile on Conrad's face. Steven rolled his eyes. "Okay, okay we get it you've been working out." The boy huffed. Belly spoke up from her seat in the corner. "Oh you're just jealous because Jere has a better body than you." Audrey let out a laugh and high fived belly from across the table, congratulating her on the comeback. She didn't miss the small blush spread across Jeremiah's cheeks at belly's comment either but decided not to comment on it. "It's actually all about the lean look now otherwise you can't wear tailored suits." Audrey raised her eyebrows at him causing him to shrug his shoulders in response. The girl went back to eating her food before Steven spoke up again. "When are you leaving for training camp man?" The table went silent as Steven asked Conrad that question. "Uh, he quit football." Jeremiah answered for Conrad who seemed frozen in his spot. Audrey watched as his hands trembled and he hid them in his lap. "Wait really? You quit?" Audrey had already known this information. Conrad had told her the day he done it in tears. She sat on the phone with him for hours as he let out whatever he needed to. She knew he was crying over more than football but never pushed him guessing that he'd tell her when he felt like it. "Mhm-mm" Steven seemed in shock at Conrad's short and blatant reply. "Are you kidding me man? I-I'd kill to play college ball." Audrey smacked the boys arm. "Steven quit it." The boy looked at her gobsmacked and when Audrey looked over to see belly's reaction she had the same one as her brother. Susannah spoke. "He can always change his mind." She said it gently with a smile looking at Conrad. The boy shook his head making a piece of hair fall into his eye. "I'm not changing my mind. I was just gonna sit on the bench all season anyways." The air was thick, no one knew how to diffuse the slight tension in the room. "Well if your not playing football anymore, what are you gonna do all summer?" He didn't really seem to know how to answer that question. "Oh dude! You can work with me and jere at the club." The two boys got excited thinking that Conrad would agree. Audrey didn't even know that the boys were working this summer and neither did Belly by the look on her face. "I'm not gonna work at the club." Conrad let out a low huff. "Wait you guys are working this summer?" Jeremiah patted Steven's shoulder. "Yeah I'm lifeguarding Steven's working at the snack shop." Audrey chuckled. "Oh yeah Steven's gonna get all the ladies wearing a hair net." Belly chuckled along with Audrey but Steven didn't seem to find it amusing. "Oh yeah and you can pull so many guys Audrey? The only guy you pulled was a douche and only wanted to use you." Audrey's smile instantly vanished and so did Conrad's. The blonde girl huffed and pushed herself away from the dinner table. "Fuck you Steven." She ran up the stairs and slammed her bedroom door shut. She squeezed her eyes shut hoping that if she squeezed hard enough it would stop her from crying but it didn't work and the tears streamed freely down her cheeks.

No one has brought up Ryan since he broke up with Audrey. It was like an unsaid rule not to bring him up because it always hurt Audrey's feelings whenever he was mentioned. Ryan was a guy she fell for the last time she was here, he was sweet and caring. Until he wasn't. He had fooled Audrey into thinking he was in love with her the same she was with him. She was absolutely obsessed with him and Conrad hated him, she of course couldn't see why and they fell out for the rest of that summer. Ryan invited Audrey to a party where they ended up spending the night together on the beach and it was only after they had finished and Audrey was dressed again did Ryan laugh in her face and say that he had won the bet. He had called her easy and pathetic because she crumbled at the slightest bit of affection. He had used her for her body and gotten money out of it. She went home a crying mess that night.

She didn't think anyone was awake because of how late it was but she was mistaken as she saw the hunched figure sat on the edge of the pool. She didn't speak and instead sat next to him laying her head on his shoulder. "I'm sorry. You were right. Ryan was an ass." Conrad was frozen at her touch. They had barely spoken all summer apart from a few snarky remarks and now she was laying on his shoulder with dry mascara on her cheeks. "What did he do? I'll kill him." The girl huffed out a loud sigh, laughing at his over protectiveness. "He- uh- I was a bet. The whole thing. Everything was fake." She felt herself getting choked up and took a deep breath. The last person she wanted to break down in front of was Conrad, it wasn't because she was uncomfortable to feel around him but it's because she knew he hated seeing her cry. He'd always told her it broke his heart, that it made his chest physically hurt so she'd always avoid crying in front of him if she could. "He's an arsehole and he should never of led you on like that and he most certainly shouldn't of used you for your body. Audrey not every guy is like that okay? You can't let one dick ruin love for you, because you deserve it. You deserve to find love Audrey." The girl looked up at him seeing that he was already looking at her. "You deserve to find love too Conrad." The boy didn't break his gaze. "What if I already have?" Audrey lifted her head from his shoulder and flashed him a bright smile. "Then she's the luckiest girl in the world. I bet she's beautiful, is she?" Conrad smiled. "Yeah, yeah she really is. She's perfect."

After sitting on the floor staring into the abyss for half an hour, Audrey decided she should probably start getting ready for the bonfire her and the boys were going too later tonight. She hoped that tonight would be the true start of summer after the emotional morning she'd had and that everything would finally start falling into place.