The Rathores in Therapy: A BCHD Epilogue

Chapter 23: Reconciling with Fear

Last Time: Dr Sandeep smiled kindly. "I understand," he said. "And I believe that with time, patience, and empathy, you'll be able to navigate this situation in a way that's healthy for both you and Banni."

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February 15th, 2023, 10:30 pm, Rathore Bhavan, Jodhpur

That night, Banni watched as Kabir put Kanha to sleep. She couldn't help but feel that something was bothering him. She noticed how he avoided her gaze, sneaking guilty looks in her direction and hesitating to talk to her. She wondered if it was about how she shut him down last night when he tried to talk about the past.

Banni had refused to discuss the past to avoid adding to his guilt. However, now she thought maybe her refusal to talk about the past was worsening Kabir's guilt. She remembered how Dr. Shobha had advised her to confront Kabir about their history and how it affected their relationship. She realized it was time to talk with Kabir about their past honestly.

As Kanha finally fell asleep, Kabir turned to Banni with an uncertain smile. It had been a long and tiring day for both of them, juggling work and caring for their son. Kabir had been thinking about how to approach Banni ever since his session that morning. He wanted to give her space but also wanted to show her that he cared. He was drawn out of his thoughts when Banni called out to him.

"Kabir, can you come to bed now?" Banni asked softly, her voice filled with exhaustion and vulnerability. Kabir nodded slowly, hesitantly, and joined her in bed. He lay down beside her, unsure of what she wanted from him. They lay there in silence, each lost in their thoughts.

After a while, Banni broke the silence, "Kabir, I'm sorry for shutting you up last night. I didn't mean to make you feel bad."

Kabir turned to look at her, "No, Banni, it's okay. I understand. I brought up some very horrific memories, and it's okay if you don't want to talk about the past unless you're ready."

Banni inhaled sharply and turned towards Kabir. "No Kabir, we do need to talk about it," she said firmly. "I've been thinking about it, and I realized that avoiding the topic won't help anyone."

Kabir looked at her uncertainly. "Are you sure, Banni?" he asked softly. "I don't want to hurt you or make you uncomfortable."

Banni nodded, placing a hand on his arm. "Yes, Kabir, I'm sure," she said firmly. "I want to talk about it. I want to understand what happened and how it affected us. And I want to move forward."

Kabir nodded, relief evident on his face. "Okay, Banni," he said softly. "We'll talk about it. But if you feel uncomfortable or scared at any point, we'll stop, okay?"

Banni took a deep breath, mentally resolving not to let her emotions get in the way. She turned towards Kabir and started, "Kabir, I want you to know that I wasn't avoiding talking about the past because I'm holding all the hurt against you. I just didn't want you to be guilty."

Kabir looked at her, surprised. "What do you mean, Banni?" he asked.

"I mean that I don't want you to feel guilty anymore, Kabir," Banni replied. "I don't want you to carry that burden with you for the rest of your life."

Kabir looked at her, his eyes filled with emotion. "Banni, I don't know what to say," he said softly.

"You don't have to say anything, Kabir," Banni replied. "I just want you to know that I forgive you."