The Rathores in Therapy: A BCHD Epilogue

Chapter 43: Anger, Guilt and Love

Last Time: He turned to face Kabir, his gaze steady and determined. "One, I would love and protect this baby with all I had," he stated fiercely.

"And two," he continued, his voice dropping to a whisper, "that I would be Banni's, in all possible ways, until my last breath. That's it."

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March 3, 2023, 1:00 PM, Jain Counselling Centre, Jodhpur

Dr Sandeep observed an unusually fidgety Kabir sitting on his couch. Kabir had just finished recounting the events of the past night — his confrontation with Alpana, comforting Banni when her guilt threatened to overwhelm her again, and finally, his discussion with Yuvaan in the gazebo. The room was silent momentarily before Sandeep broke it with a quiet question.

"So Kabir," he began calmly, "how do you feel now after confronting Alpana?"

Kabir looked up, his eyes reflecting a storm of emotions. He drew a deep breath, seemingly gathering his thoughts before he responded.

"It feels... weird," Kabir finally admitted, his voice betraying his inner turmoil. "A part of me is relieved, you know? I finally told Alpana Jiji exactly how I felt. But then..." He trailed off, his gaze falling to his hands as he wrestled with the words. He sighed heavily, running a hand through his hair before he continued.

"But then I feel like a hypocrite," he confessed. His gaze met Dr. Sandeep's, a look of uncertainty in his eyes. "I accepted her confidence, her support when I needed it. And now I wonder... did I give up the right to confront her about the past when I did that?" His question hung in the air, a testament to the complex web of emotions he was trying to navigate.

Dr. Sandeep regarded Kabir thoughtfully, understanding the guilt and confusion he was grappling with. "Kabir," he began, his voice soothing, "it's important to remember that human relationships are complex. They're not black and white. Yes, you accepted Alpana's support when you needed it. That doesn't mean you can't confront her about the past. It's possible to appreciate what someone has done for you and still hold them accountable for their past actions."

Kabir nodded, still looking down, his hands fisted in his lap. His mind was still wrestling with the complexities of the situation.

Seeing his inner turmoil, Dr Sandeep leaned forward, his voice gentle but firm. "And Kabir," he continued, "the same applies to Banni as well. You're allowed to confront her about her mistakes. You're allowed to be angry at her for what she did."

Kabir's head snapped up at Sandeep's words, his eyes wide. He opened his mouth to protest, but Sandeep held up a hand to stop him. "Your anger at Banni doesn't mean you love her any less," he said firmly. "It doesn't mean that you are disregarding the good she has done for you. And it doesn't mean you can't continue to support her now. Your feelings are valid, Kabir. It's okay to have these conflicting emotions. It's part of being human."

The room fell silent once more as Kabir absorbed Sandeep's words. The tension in his body seemed to ease slightly, but his expression remained troubled. This was a lot for him to process, but at least now he had a starting point to understand his tangled emotions.

Observing Kabir's internal struggle, Dr. Sandeep decided to push him gently. "Kabir, can you share what's bothering you?" he asked softly.

Kabir raised his gaze to meet Sandeep's myriad of complicated emotions reflected in his eyes. After a moment, he whispered, "I can't confront Banni, not now."

Sensing the depth of Kabir's conflicted feelings, Sandeep leaned back in his chair, maintaining his calm demeanour as he asked, "Why is that, Kabir?"

Kabir paused, his gaze dropping to his hands again as he grappled with the words to explain his feelings. After what seemed like an eternity, he finally spoke. "Because if I confront her, she will be guilty again," he admitted, his voice carrying a note of desperate concern. "She is still learning how to manage her guilt and... and I don't want to give her more reasons to be guilty."