The Rathores in Therapy: A BCHD Epilogue

Chapter 46: Unearthed Guilt

Last Time: The relief that washed over Kabir's face was palpable. His eyes sparkled with a mix of joy and gratitude. He pulled Banni close, enveloping her in a warm, comforting embrace. As she melted into his arms, Banni knew that despite the uncertainties and unanswered questions, their love was strong enough to weather any storm. Their faith in their love, in each other, was their strongest asset, and it would guide them through whatever the future held.

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March 4th, 2023, 11:00 am, Jain Counselling Center, Jodhpur

"I don't know how to assure her, Doctor," a frustrated Kabir confessed to Sandeep. "How can I convince her that I won't forget her like I did with Tulika?"

Dr Sandeep nodded, leaning back in his chair. "It's a difficult question, Kabir," he admitted steadily. "But it's a valid one. Banni has seen you move on from Tulika relatively quickly, and, understandably, she's concerned about whether you'd do the same with her."

Kabir sighed, rubbing his forehead in frustration. "But I can't...I mean, it's not like I can make Banni temporarily disappear to show her what would happen," he said, his tone tinged with a touch of bitterness.

"No, you can't," Dr. Sandeep agreed. "But what you can do is continue to be open and honest with Banni. Continue to express your feelings, your fears, your love for her. The more she understands your emotions, the more she'll be able to trust in your love."

Kabir snorted derisively, his fingers drumming against the armrest of the chair. "Understand my emotions?" he echoed, a bitter chuckle escaping his lips. "How will Banni understand my emotions when I can't understand them myself?"

He leaned back in his chair, his gaze distant as he lost himself in thought. "I mean," he began with a strange mix of disbelief and frustration, "I was convinced that Tulika and I shared a true love. I was convinced that Banni was my enemy."

He paused, shaking his head in disbelief. "And then suddenly, I'm convinced that I couldn't actually love Tulika. I'm convinced that my love for Banni is unswerving." His voice was filled with deep-seated confusion, his words a stark testament to the turmoil within him.

"But I can't explain why," Kabir confessed, his voice barely above a whisper. "I can't explain why my feelings changed. I can't explain why I was able to move on from Tulika so quickly."

His eyes dropped to his hands, his fingers clenching into fists. "No wonder Banni doesn't trust me," he murmured with heartbreaking helplessness.

Dr Sandeep looked at Kabir understandingly. "Emotions aren't always easy to understand, Kabir," he started, his voice calm and soothing. "They can be complex, confusing, and contradictory. Especially for someone like you."

Kabir looked at him, his brows furrowing in confusion. "Someone like me?" he echoed, his voice hollow. "You mean someone... broken, like me?" His chuckle was bitter, devoid of any real humour. "No wonder there's no clarity regarding my emotions. They're broken too, just like everything else in my mind."

Dr Sandeep, not missing a beat, leaned forward in his chair, his eyes empathetic. "Kabir," he began, his voice gentle yet firm, "you are not broken. You have a disorder, yes, but that does not make you any less of a person. It's simply a part of who you are, and it's something you're learning to manage."

Kabir shook his head, his gaze distant and unfocused. "No, Doctor. I am a monster," he murmured, his voice hollow. "I'm a destructive force that ruins everything it touches."

His hands clenched into fists, his knuckles turning white with the force of his grip. "I wasn't even supposed to exist," he continued, his voice quivering with barely restrained emotion. "I'm a result of Yuvaan's trauma, his pain. I ruined his life just by coming into being."