Just Convenience

Chapter 10

Peyton's POV: 

I couldn't fall asleep; Emma was in deep sleep, snuggled in my arms, and I wished I could fall asleep. I was afraid, though, that I would have a nightmare and end up waking everyone in the room up. Especially when I had that flashback today. And, I was afraid to fall asleep and wake up only to have this entire day a dream. 

I had never tasted anyone's lips as sweet as Emma's and her hair. Fuck. Seeing her in a bikini was nearly my undoing, and it wasn't a lie when I called her beautiful to Lorine. She was beautiful and pure, and I was so unworthy even to be seen next to her. 

So much anger filled me when I connected some of the dots of her past and realized she had been raped. I may have had a shit childhood, but even when I was taken, I had never been sexually abused. It took everything in me not to find the man that had raped her and rip him apart. 

Emma moved in her sleep, her hands gripping my shirt, and her breathing quickened, a tale-tale sign that she had woken up. "Hey, Emma, it's still the middle of the night; go back to sleep." 

She yawned and stretched, pressing her body closer, "Why aren't you asleep?" she whispered back. 

"I can't sleep," I answered and rubbed her back slowly. 

She hummed and nuzzled her nose against my neck. This is fake. I had to remind myself of that. As good as this felt, it would end soon, and I would go back to living my life. "I really enjoy kissing you," she said, her words slurred with sleep. 

I smiled and kissed the top of her head, "I enjoy kissing you too." 

"You do?" She sounded surprised at that, and I hummed yes. "It's pitiful to hold onto high school grudges, but after what happened with Stephen, Katie told me privately that she didn't know why anyone would kiss me if it weren't a dare." 

I furrowed my eyebrows. Katie didn't seem like that bad of a person, but she was talking about Emma behind her back. "This isn't a dare," I said softly. 

"I know, but sometimes," she yawned, "It feels like it is." 

I pulled back to look at her face in the darkness. She blinked her eyes a few times and gave a small sad smile. Kissing her would do nothing right now, and yet the urge was stronger than it had ever been. It would be foolish. Stupid and foolish. I gazed down at her lips, then back at her eyes. "This isn't a dare," I repeated, then leaned down, despite my best effort, and kissed her softly. 

She kissed me back almost instantly, her hands flying to my neck trying to pull me closer. I was careful now, more than I ever was before, not to let her feel what her kisses did to me. She didn't need to think that all I wanted her was for sex because I didn't want that. Not that the thought hadn't crossed my mind - how could it not when she looked like that? 

She arched her back, pressing herself against me, and I pushed her back, pinning her hands above her head. "Emma," I whispered her name against her lips before biting her lower lip lightly. It was stupid, extremely stupid, to be doing this. She made a sound that came out as a mix between a moan and a yelp. "Shh, you don't want to wake up your friends," I warned softly, and she nodded once before I kissed her again. 

We broke the kiss finally, and I sighed, "Whatever am I going to do with you?" 

"I don't know," she whispered back, "But as much as I would like to keep kissing you all night, we need sleep." She pulled her hands from my grip and pushed me back down into a lying position. "Kiss me in the morning, so I know this wasn't a dream," and with that, she snuggled back into me and went back to sleep. 

I woke in the morning, having had one of the best nights of sleep ever. Emma was nowhere to be seen, and neither was Jake or Lorine. I sent a quick text to Emma to tell her that I was going to take a shower and hopped out of bed.