Just Convenience

Chapter 9:

Emma's POV: 

If I said I wasn't worried about Peyton, I'd be lying. He had a major panic attack and was still pushing himself to hang out with a group of people he didn't even know. I also didn't think any of this was convincing Katie that I was actually dating someone. It was the way she watched us like a hawk and seemed to scrutinize our every little interaction. 

Lorine was overjoyed, though, at the thought of me dating anyone, let alone Peyton. He was the talk of the table when he had gone to the bathroom, and I was bombarded with questions about why he had a panic attack. 

Most of the questions I could actually answer, thankfully, but there were some that I had to play cool with and answer with, "That's information, Peyton, and I don't really want to answer," it seemed to work, and when Peyton came back from the restroom, the conversation dropped. 

On our way back to the car after leaving the restaurant, Peyton cleared his throat and said, "Katie doesn't believe we are dating." 

"That's obvious," I sulked. 

"No, like... she was telling Abby how she doesn't believe we are together," I sucked in a breath at his words. This was what I had feared. That no one would believe. 

"Well, I guess since they already know-" I was beginning to say when Peyton shook his head. 

"Emma, you can't be giving up that easily." 

"They don't believe! How can I not give up?" 

Peyton stopped walking and gripped my arm lightly, making me turn toward him in the middle of the busy street. His blue eyes were cold and hard, like normal, but there was something else in them that made me pause. "It's partly my fault that they don't believe anything; I haven't been the best-fake-boyfriend." 

"You had a panic attack; no one expects you to be perfect." 

"I expect me to be perfect," he said sternly, and I flinched back slightly, "Sorry, I - it's on me that they don't think that we are dating, but give me parameters, and I will act like I am head over heals for you." He was serious, which startled me more than I wanted to admit to myself. 

"Parameters?" I asked, and he nodded, his hand grazing my arm down to my hand before giving it a slight squeeze. "Physical parameters?" I asked, finally getting what he meant. I looked back at our previous interactions that day; the most physical contact we had shown was holding hands - and while that might have been acceptable around his mother, it wouldn't be acceptable around other couples, all of whom were kissing constantly. 

The thought nearly brought me to my knees. Kissing. I hadn't kissed anyone after Stephen, didn't want to think about it. But Peyton was right; kissing would sell our act. I took a shaky breath as my eyes traveled down to his lips. "Please... be gentle," I said, glancing back up to his eyes, which had turned soft at my words. 

"What do you mean?" 

"I'm saying that you can do anything - we can do anything... but please just be gentle," Stephen had never been gentle, even after I would ask him, so I didn't know why I expected Peyton to listen either. "Can I also ask you to do something?" I asked, my heart hammering. 

"Anything, and if you're not comfortable-" 

"Kiss me now so that I won't freak out later," I blurted it out; it was the only way to get the words out of my mouth without thinking about them too hard. 

"Emma," he said my name so softly that I had to look away. Clearing his throat, he said, "How do you want me to kiss you?" Someone walking by coughed, and I wished we were in a less populated area.