The clockroom

Poisoned

A.N.:// At this point we have reached the final episode of season 2. Only took 300 pages, well what the fuck, amiright?

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"How come Gwen is in these pictures?" For a moment, all Arthur could see were Merlin's bright blue eyes, the crook of a smile and a bit of amusement in his brows.

"You're not the only one who can use my clock, Arthur." Arthur gaped. He hadn't thought of that. He'd never imagined - "Only royalty can enter the Clockroom, so the Gwen that visits me is already Queen."

Arthur stared at him. "What?" His heart was beating faster. What did Merlin mean by THAT? He had thought the clocks were only ever for one person! Also, did this mean he would tell Guinevere about the clocks? That couldn't be... these clocks weren't meant... Arthur didn't - Arthur paused his thoughts. The clocks were his secret and his alone. He wouldn't share that with anyone! At the same time he thought it, he realized how selfish he sounded. Guilt flooded his mind.

Merlin sighed. "Well, I mean... she only started using it after your death. Before that it's only ever you. Not that you're using the Clockroom every night, but -" Merlin looked at the pictures again. "I wish you had more time to use it. There is only so many hours a human lives and even less that you can spare as king. There are so many more lifetimes I will have to live without you." He looked sad, but shook himself out of it. "And sadly enough, you cannot use the Clockroom twice."

Arthur frowned. Yes he could! He already had! "Twice?"

"You came to us right after your death, you know? You will try using the Clockroom then, too. While you're technically already using it. Like... inception. But you couldn't..." Merlin put a hand on Arthur's shoulder, making him feel the warmth bleed through his shirt. "That's why Gwen uses it after your death. I think I see her more often than I see you. But she tries to spread her time so we aren't always there at the same time, so that I have more people to look forward to. It's nice. It's also lonely. I never really know when you arrive. Or she. How long I have to wait. How long you stay. If it's going to be you or her. The crystals don't talk about you anymore because neither of you can interfere with destiny anymore in these times."

Arthur felt his heart tremble at the revelation. How long again, was one lifetime compared to a thousand? How many hours was Arthur wasting with his selfishness, when Merlin waited literal centuries just to see him? And Arthur was hesitating, just because he couldn't differentiate between dream and reality! So what IF this was just a dream? If everything within a dream stayed within a dream, then why not use it exactly like that? Why not allow it to be a dream?

Hesitantly, Arthur leaned over and slowly pulled Merlin into his arms. It was a gesture he wasn't used to. It was a gesture that made his hands twitch as he attempted to be normal about it, but Merlin melted against him anyway. "I'm sorry that I'm wasting so much time."

Merlin laughed and hugged him back. "It's fine. I know it's difficult for you. It may be centuries for me, but it's only hours to you. Of course you need more time than I do."

Arthur looked up at Merlin, not believing what he was hearing. They were using the exact same logic? But where Arthur felt guilt, Merlin was patient. "I don't know what I feel for you. I don't think I should feel anything for you at all. I'm in love with Gwen. I -"

Merlin grabbed him tight and laughed. "Yes, I figured that much. Have I ever told you how little I care about that? You're my friend, Arthur. I missed you. Everything else is a problem for future you. I can... I can wait." There was something working behind his eyes that felt almost like a divide. Arthur didn't know what it was. It just made it hard for him to believe Merlin's words.