The Spark [Xiao x Aether]

Alone again ||

(TW: suicidal thoughts and suicide attempt)

A couple of days passed since Xiao's walk. He refused to go out. Everything he saw reminded him of the traveler. He couldn't take it anymore and tried to sleep the days away. His life had no purpose now, did it? It was the exact same as before the blonde arrived in Teyvat. Should he just go to the Dendro archon and beg to erase his memories? He thought of it for a good while but decided not to do it.

There were some memories he cherished and wished to never forget. Even though he still hated Aether, he was grateful to him for teaching him mortal emotions, but was there any point in all of that teaching now?

The Yaksha had nothing to do in life. Small enemies like slime were the only entities roaming around Teyvat. He didn't need to go on patrols to get rid of them. He had no friends. No family. No one he was close to.

He felt so miserable.

The one person he loved betrayed him.

The only person he ever loved.

The two of them were never going to talk again. Aether was gone. Xiao had to accept that eventually.

Dealing with all of this damaged the boy's mood quite a lot. He couldn't do anything to distract himself because one way or another it would always remind him of the blonde. Sleeping in his room or on the roof all day was all he did.

Does this mean that the Adeptuse's life has no meaning without the traveler? Aether was the one who showed him the light, the spark in his eyes that kept him going. Was living really worth it?

During one of these days, Xiao was attempting to sleep in his room like usual but couldn't get himself to. He kept tossing and turning but just couldn't. While his mind wandered off somewhere he noticed a certain object in the side of his eye.

He got up in a sitting position and rubbed his eyes to make sure he wasn't seeing things.

It was his polearm. The same polearm that stabbed through the traveler's chest not too long ago. Seeing it made the boy remember everything far more vividly. He gripped tightly onto his chest as his heart began to ache before getting up and walking over to the weapon.

He grabbed it and his vision began getting blurry.

That's right.

There was no point in living if the one person who put the spark into your life isn't living it with you. Even if you hate that person now, they meant a lot to you before. Things might change but memories from the past always stay the same no matter what. The world may have been rewritten but Xiao's memories weren't.

The boy's hands began shaking with the spear in them. They were shaking the same way when he threw that spear at his past lover.

One move.

All it would take was one move.

Then everything would be over.

He wouldn't be suffering so much.

He pointed the head of the polearm at his chest and stopped right before it touched him. His hands couldn't stay still at all so he dropped the weapon and grabbed his head in frustration. He couldn't even cry anymore. It was all pointless.

Right before he picked it up again, there was a knock on his door. Xiao quickly kicked his spear under the bed and lazily got up to answer the door. Zhongli was usually always checking up on him so this wasn't anything abnormal.

When the Yaksha opened the door he wasn't greeted by the Geo archon. It was the girl he saw back when he took a walk. He stared at her for a second before almost closing the door on her. If it wasn't for her hand blocking it, the Adeptus would've locked himself in and wouldn't have to deal with any of this.

"Xiao, wait! Listen...I know we aren't on the best terms currently but something has definitely been going on with you lately. If you don't mind, can I come in and you could try talking to me about it?" She said in a hurry, worried that the boy would use his strength to close the door once again.

A long sigh escaped Xiao's lips. He moved to the side and invited the girl in.

They sat together on his bed and Ganyu looked at him with a worried expression. All this did was remind him of Aether.

"You... haven't been yourself lately. Morax told me you seemed to have fallen into some kind of deep depression. Why is that?" She asked.

The Yaksha wouldn't keep his eyes off the ground. He couldn't face anyone after the incident. Seeing anyone show the slightest bit of concern or care reminded him of his past lover.

"I'm taking a rest."

"A rest? That's something new coming from you."

The half Adeptus girl kept on talking and asking questions for a long time to which Xiao just gave short responses. He wanted to reassure her everything was fine so she would leave him alone. Both of them were never even close so why did she care?

After the boy finally managed to get rid of her he closed the doors shut and leaned behind them, slowly falling onto the ground.

He was sick of it all.

The people around him.

This room.

All the little things.

He may have tried acting okay with Ganyu around but as soon as she left his miserable expression was back. He used a bit of his adepti power to bring the polearm back to him from under the bed.

He looked around the room and thought for a moment.

Nobody could stop him.

Xiao spent no more time thinking and stabbed himself with the weapon. One stab wasn't enough to kill a Yaksha so he just kept going until all he saw was black.

"Ah! Xiao, I'm afraid I may have forgotten som-"