When We Were Wildflowers

Chapter 20 - Home Away from Home

Poppy and I sit barefoot, side by side, in our secret fishing spot watching our lines sway on the water as it reflects the amber rays of the late day sun. I dig my toes into the dirt and give a sigh of relief as the soft earth yields, opening up a pocket of coolness for my feet to explore. The grass under me is damp from a passing thunderstorm earlier in the afternoon, but the mud on my bottom and in between my toes is the least of my worries.

"So, Mom and Dad sat us down at the dining room table last night to have the talk. It was very official," I explain. "Everything they said was so scripted like they practiced or something. Mom goes, 'Kids, we need to have a family talk.' Then Dad says, 'Sometimes in a relationship, things don't go as planned. Your Mom and I have been struggling for many years. We tried to work things out, but have come to the point where we have irreconcilable differences.'"

"What?" Poppy's jaw practically unhinges, revealing a wad of pink bubblegum.

"I had to look up what that word 'irreconcilable' even means. You think they'd know how to talk to kids by now."

"They didn't say anything about what happened?" She is as confounded as I am.

"No, nothing about the accident. Only..." I clear my throat and do my best impression of my Dad's deep voice. "'I want to make it clear that I am the one responsible for this separation, not your mother. I will be supporting her through this transition and the your well being is my top priority. We both love you very much.'"

"Yuck." Poppy sticks out her tongue like she's about to yak.

"Right?" I shake my head in frustration. "I'll never know how Mom sat through that and kept it together. I wanted to tell my Dad off right there in front of Teddy, but he obviously doesn't know the truth yet, and my mom obviously doesn't remember telling me about the other woman. I guess she was too far gone?"

"Drinking a whole bottle of wine will have that effect on a person." Poppy stands and reels in her line. "Are you going to tell Teddy the truth?"

"I have to tell him, don't you think?"

"You do have a moral obligation to tell the truth. Withholding information like that could make him resent you in the future if he ever finds out." Poppy sounds like a grown up and I cringe.

"Oh my gosh, you're talking like my dad." I stand and reel in my line while Poppy casts hers back into the water.

"Here's the thing. You have to ask yourself what would you want if the roles were reversed. Would you want to be kept in the dark?"

"I don't know. Maybe ignorance is bliss?" I wished so many times I never came downstairs and saw my mom in that pathetic state. For the past three days, I could have been a regular kid who can eat normally, sleep soundly, and go for longer than two hours without crying. Now I know what Mom knows, and it's a heavy burden to carry. "It's only going to weigh Teddy down."

"Hmm." Poppy sits back down on the bumpy grass. "How did he take the news from your parents?"

"I think he was shocked." My mind recalls Teddy slumped at the dining room table, picking at his nails to hide the tears in his eyes. "He's definitely sad. We're all sad."

"Even your dad?" Sorrow drags down the corners of Poppy's eyes too.

I nod. "After the talk, he teared a little up when he hugged us. If the car accident didn't happen while he was riding around with her, maybe we never would have known? I can't help but imagine, what if?"

Poppy shakes her head no."Don't play the 'what if' game. It'll only bring you more pain. Trust me."

I do trust her. Poppy is wise beyond her years. Perhaps it's all the books she reads, but I suspect it has a lot to do with her father's circumstances and the fact that she is so darn independent. Poppy knows a thing or two about challenging times and perseverance, and I intend to learn from her example. I stare up at the cloudless sky and thank my lucky stars this chapter of my life won't be navigated alone.